Tag Archives: victory

The Trap of Disappointment

IMG_9746.JPGA question was posed in my last Bible Study group and I was the one with the opposite answer. Of course some of you who know me could have guessed that!

“Are you more disappointed when you disappoint someone else or when you yourself is disappointed?”

Everyone but me said they are more disappointed when they disappoint someone else.  Hmmm wierd huh?  How would you answer this question?  As I sat in class that night wondering why I answered the way I did I felt the answer come to me.  I answered the question with full honesty from a very broken place.

I am not the type of person who needs to get ahead in life.  Even though as a leader I often end up in a leadership role, it is not my drive in life.  In fact if I could just be a follower I would be perfectly happy, however, that is not the way God intended me to live. (which means I probably wouldn’t be truly happy lol)

I am also the type of person who goes with the flow very well.  Good or bad I just go with it.  I accept things for what they are and move onward.  Take for instance my house right now.  It is torn apart at the seams, literally, as we are  in the middle of a massive overhaul.  One day the bedrooms walls were gone, then the carpet and now today it is a shell of a house with no walls at all.  But, I’m okay.  I am learning to look past the debris and disruption to see that this house will be a beautiful home once it is finished.

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I can be labeled also as a person who gets disappointed.  Like the ONE thing I wanted in the house is not going to happen.  I really wanted a tub and it’s been a see-saw kind of decision from the get go.  When it finally came down to that we can only fit a shower in, I lost it.  Literally sat at work and cried as I let my husband gently know I wanted nothing to do with the shopping for a shower.  Matter of fact as I type this now my eyes are brimming with tears because of that disappointment…HOWEVER…I also know when God says no He has something much better in mind and I find my peace in that.

Back to the question and the answer I felt I received.  I tend to be more disappointed when things do not go my way because I have already accepted the fact that I am a disappointment to others so when I let people down I feel they knew it was coming.  There has been a running, infected wound in my life which runs around telling me lies in every situation I encounter.

i am not good enough and i cannot do anything right

I have battled this my entire life and Jesus is working hard to heal me.  It’s just a day by day process.  Things I am plagued with:  Why write? No one wants to read it.  Why take pictures?  Who wants to see them?  My books are not any good.  My photos are not up to par.  How do I keep my job?  How do I keep friends?  Why work out?  The scale hasn’t moved.

I could go on and on with dumb questions and it would just frustrate the people in my life who see me differently.  The point of all of this is that disappointment is different for everyone.  These are just the things which bother me.  Disappointment is a trap and often we set the trap up ourselves.  We EXPECT reactions from people before they even get a chance to express how they really feel.  When we are feeling the pain of disappointment it hurts in ways we can’t often express to others.  Some of you might be wondering why not getting a tub is so important.  I can’t really tell you, it was just something I really wanted.

I am fully aware of how disappointment affects me and I am finding more and more that I no longer get my hopes up.  I often don’t trust things will go in my favor.  I am afraid to dream.  I am held tight in a trap that doesn’t have any wiggle room.  Is this right?  No!  this is not living the victorious life God has given to us.

where is the disconnect?

I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of His victory.
Reread that verse.  It is our faith not our gold which will display His victory.  We have to life this life from a place of great faith, trusting God the ENTIRE way not just in certain circumstances.  We need to believe beyond the shadow of a doubt He has our BEST interest in mind.  If He called me to write then I must write.  If He gave me a passion to take photos then I must run with my camera.  If He called me to be an encourager, then I must encourage those in my fitness group with all that is within me no matter what the scale says.
I am a conquer through my faith in God.  That’s it.  There is the disconnect.  We do not trust God enough to see past our current circumstances.  We cannot see past the muck and disarray to grasp the vision of what is to come.  We serve a God who has our best interest at heart and this my friends is where our faith has to come from.  We have to give God the opportunity to take what we find as disappointment and turn it into something better.  We have the begin to trust “Father knows best” for everything in our lives.
Dear Lord,
I choose today to trust you completely in every area of my life.  Help me to trust the process and to spring free from the entrapment of disappointment.   Show me again the path of peace so my faith will become huge.  Let me lay these lies at the foot of Jesus and rest in Your goodness.
In Jesus Name
AMEN
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Fire & Water Never Got Along So Well

 

Psalm 51:10 The Message (MSG)

7-15 Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,
    scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.
Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,
    set these once-broken bones to dancing.
Don’t look too close for blemishes,
    give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
    shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don’t throw me out with the trash,
    or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
    put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
    so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
    and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
    I’ll let loose with your praise.

starting fires

Ever felt like you finally arrived at the top of the mountain you were facing?  Finally achieved a goal you had been striving towards?  Won a race?  Received an award?  I am feeling all of those things right now in this moment.  God says in Psalm 23 that He will fill our cups to overflow status!  He says He will turn all of our sorrow to joy!  He says He will turn ALL things to good!!!  I can tell you this is truth!!

God has done a number of things in my recent past.  Pulled me from a destructive marriage.  Kept me safe in several circumstances.  Restored my faith.  Given me new hope.  Promoted me higher than I could ever imagine.  What does this feel like?  Uncontainable, indescribable, incredible JOY!!!!!!

How did I get to the mountain top?  Surrender.  Surrender.  Surrender. and MORE Surrender.  Today alone this is what happened in my tiny little speck of a life:  I submitted book two to be published, figured out how to start my first book on Kindle, received TWO checks at work, and I obeyed God and started a dance group at church and people actually showed up.  Eight other people to be exact.

Yup!  All that in one day.  I feel the most significant event was the dance group.  When I saw the vision to start this dance team, I of course argued with God.  Why are you picking me? I am the least coordinated person on earth?  Lord, you know I cannot rub my tummy and pat my head at the same time!  Want to know what His answer was:  I always choose the least to accomplish the most in my Kingdom.

This group of women to me are the firestarters who will enable the body of Christ to walk on water.  He chose a leader, a worshiper, got someone out of their box, a Zumba instructor, a cheerleader, a gymnast and a past color guard person to become The Revival Warriors.  Our first practice was awesome and I really look forward to praising God in the most intimate way with this group of women!

So what is the moral of the story?  Mountain top stories are based on surrender and obedience.  Would I have found such joy today if I hadn’t stepped out in faith and called these women to bind together in unity to lead the church to victory?  Probably not.  I encourage anyone reading this to choose surrender and obedience in whatever situation you are currently in.  God cannot take you to the top of the mountain if you do not choose to surrender….He would never drag anyone up the mountain.