Tag Archives: seek

Underachiever Award Goes to: Brenda Czarniak 47th Year in a Row

2018

I am not one to set new year resolutions because I only find myself on the floor the eve of a new year making the same old promises to myself and God, knowing in the back of my head it is all just talk.  Empty, worthless drivel.  Goals I will not set incude:

  • I will not exercise more in the new year.
  • I will not take more walks then the year before.
  • I will not be any more organized than what I am at this very moment.
  • I will still wait for the last minute to do things.
  • I will not push myself to write.
  • I will not make all the right choices when it comes to healthy eating.
  • I will not stop coloring my hair and embracing the gray.
  • I refuse to set goals and ambitions for the new year only because I am afraid of failure and the mentally of “I can’t do anything right” haunts me year after year.  It is my wound and I have been protecting it all this time.  I cannot fail if I don’s set goals.  My wound cannot get any worse if I choose not to set things in motion for the new year.

There.  Now that I have established everything I am NOT  going to do in 2018 I feel so much relief.  No expectations to fulfill.  No standards to keep up with.  No commitments.  No chance of failure or not doing something right.  If I write, I write.  If I exercise, I exercise.  If I choose cake over carrots may the cake be chocolate.  If I get my desk organized then I will celebrate probably with ice cream.  No pressure. No problem.

EXCEPT

Psalm 42

1 As the deer longs for streams of water,
    so I long for you, O God.
I thirst for God, the living God.
    When can I go and stand before him?
Day and night I have only tears for food,
    while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
    “Where is this God of yours?”

My heart is breaking
    as I remember how it used to be:
I walked among the crowds of worshipers,
    leading a great procession to the house of God,
singing for joy and giving thanks
    amid the sound of a great celebration!

Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged,
    but I will remember you—
even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
    from the land of Mount Mizar.
I hear the tumult of the raging seas
    as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
    and through each night I sing his songs,
    praying to God who gives me life.

“O God my rock,” I cry,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I wander around in grief,
    oppressed by my enemies?”
10 Their taunts break my bones.
    They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

11 Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and my God!

 

As deep cries out to deep, God calls us to higher and higher levels in Him.  He wants us to have everything He has destined for us to achieve.  He wants us to be healthy but it does not need to control our every thought.  I am sure He would like us to be organized simply to help keep us focused on His next step for us.  He wants us to be happy in our own skin and if something needs to change, He will lead us in that direction. At times I feel like such a mess almost as if I was an unraveled ball of yarn that someone took apart and then just left in a pile on the floor.  In and of myself I cannot put myself back into shape, I will need to trust the Creator to do this.  With that being said, if I spend 2018 just seeking Him, He will guide me in the right direction.

By me setting up goals and standards for the new year I am almost saying, “Don’t worry God, I got this! See You in 2019 and I will be ready to move forward with what you have for me.”

So what am I going to do in 2018?  Just be.  Just be in an attitude of gratitude.  Just be thankful for where I am at the moment.  Just be in an atmosphere of continual praise and worship.  Just be silent in His presence so I can hear the next step.  Just be content with what I have knowing God has some much more for me.  I am just going the be me and see what God does in and through me.  Romans 8:18 seems to be the verse for the year for our family.

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My prayer this year for all of you reading this is for you to see making a new years resolution in a whole new light.  Let God into your goals.  Let God into any resolutions you feel you may need to make.  Just let God be in your life.  Just be in His presence.  Just be who He created you be.  You will discover in a very short time that His desires for your life are nothing like the standards of the world we so easily measure ourselves against.

Happy New Year! 

May 2018 show up in all it’s intended glory and show you who God really is.  May you be able to Just Be and pursue that which God desires for you to follow after.  May you find peace and joy in resting rather than working harder.  May you be blessed and highly favored as you begin to believe what God says about you rather than the world.  Most of all, I pray that you can Just Be.

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Don’t Stop

1 Chronicles 16:11
Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.

How often do we truly seek God?  Do we only come to Him when we are in need or do we search for Him in our daily walk?  Have you ever received what you needed and then went along your merry way doing things your own way until the next BIG thing happened in your life and you needed God again?  We have all been there.  In the days before when I was not seeking God like I am now, this was a routine of mine.  I would think I had things under control and doing fine on my own when in retrospect, I did not have a clue what I was doing. Then I find myself screaming about how in the world I was in such a mess, not realizing I was the one who myself there in the first place because I did not seek God first.

I was saved at six.  I did all I could at this tiny of an age to seek God even though my parents were not believers.  I attended vacation Bible schools.  I went to the Baptist church and faithfully attended the Awana classes.  Every Wednesday I would ride the Joy Bus with the Church of Jesus Christ.  Yet I never went anywhere on Sunday because no one was there to take me.  I learned to experience God in my own way and let Him lead me where He wanted to take me, wish I had done that all along in my life.  I soon discovered the Methodist church down the street at age twelve and begged my mom to join me so I could see what a Sunday service was like.  Mom came and soon we joined the church.

I became a member, attended youth group, joined the choir and was very active, yet I was not sure what it was all about.  I knew there was a God.  I knew He created everything.  I understood we sang in church, but not really why.  I did not know at that point, I had a purpose.  God was growing me up in the way He desired me to go and I thought I had it figured out at one point, then came peer pressure and junior high school.  Somehow I got caught up in the world.  How does this happen?  God captured my heart at age six, should I not have been in a secure relationship with Him by my teenage years?  No matter how hard I tried to be good, I just told God I had it under control as He watched His daughter party, drinking and smoking, destroying the work He has started.

I can imagine how He must have felt when I stopped seeking Him in my life.  Oh I knew He was there, yet I just kept getting farther and farther away, almost like a child waving goodbye to their parents as they go off to school.  And just like the parent, God is trying to hold unto to us for just a little but longer to protect us.  As I walked into the world on my own, my thoughts were no longer His.  My actions no longer reflected that I was a Christian girl.  What had happened?  I got interested in the world and stopped seeking God.  The more I was away, the more “freedom” I thought I had when in reality I was just putting on chains.  Chains of immorality.  Chains of improper behavior.  Chains of guilt.  Chains of self-doubt.  Chains of fear.  I could go on.  I had none of those issues while I was seeking God.

 I felt like I was trying to show everyone I could handle this world all on my own without God.  Boy was I wrong.  I ended up searching for love in all the wrong places and nothing seemed to fill the void I had created when I stopped seeking the face of God.  I married a man I thought was perfect for me, but I did not use Godly wisdom before I entered into the marriage.  Biblically  speaking we are to marry someone who is equally yoked to our faith so we the two can become one, seeking God first in our lives.  If I had not strayed for awhile, I may have learned this principle, saving me from what I endured for 18 years.  On the flip side of all of this, yes I choose incorrectly but God is a God of forgiveness and He turned my bad choices into lessons I can teach others.  I have two wonderful children and a life worthy now of being called a child of God.  I walk in greater peace and when things come, I can still cry out to God but He isn’t so far away anymore.

What have I learned?  Even when things are going good, still seek the Lord.  We are to rest in His goodness which is exactly what I am doing now, however I do not want to go back unto the path from whence I came and become like the lost sheep.  I want to continually receive from God and this can only happen if I am continually seeking Him.  This means, before I buy a new car, seek the Lord.  Before I decide I want to move, seek the Lord.  While helping my kid find a college, seek the Lord.  Before I do anything major in my life I need to seek the face of God for direction so as to stay on the path I was destined to be on.  I never want to lose sight of my destiny again.  I have lost the desire to be a part of this world.  I only want God and I want others to experience His great love.