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Ostrich Syndrome

The enemy hunted me down; he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life. He put me in a black hole, buried me like a corpse in that dungeon. I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away, my heart heavy, like lead. I remembered the old days, went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked, Stretched out my hands to you, as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
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Ever just dealt with something over and over again.  You do everything in your power to fix it and make it work.  You have exhausted every bit of you into the situation with the same results..no change.  What about those situations that come at you so quickly the only reaction you have is to go ostrich and bury your head?  When this happens you are just praying it will go away and quickly.  If you can’t see it, it can not affect you.
I call this the Ostrich Syndrome.  The ability to bury your head in the sand and pretend as if you cannot be seen.  Can you just picture this in your mind?  Even if we bury our heads the rest of our body is open for attack, in fact you would be in for a more fatal blow from the enemy at this point.  When we just bury our senses so to speak so that we don’t have to taste, smell, see or hear our enemies we are still open to him touching us.
A good example of this is when I was in my past marriage I often closed my eyes and hoped it would all just go away.  I no longer wanted to hear the screaming or taste the tears.  I didn’t want to see the pain in my children or smell the rottenness of the mess I had gotten myself into.  There were days when I would just bury my head and pretend I was free from the attacks.  It never worked.  I still felt the stings from the enemy.  My ex-husband still drank. Still smoked. Still searched daily for  his next fix.  Meanwhile with my head in the sand I was oblivious to what was really going on around me.
My children were hurting.  My heart was breaking.  I was slowly being erased by the enemy.  My life no longer mattered.  I wanted to just run away but I couldn’t because my head was buried in the sand. While I still had my head in tact, the rest of me was being attacked by the enemy.  I no longer cared what I looked like.  I had lost all hope in ever having a life.  The enemy had me exactly where he wanted me…buried..oblivious to what was happening..dead to life…hopeless.
Then one day I lifted my head and began to see what was happening.  It was then that I saw this hand reaching out to me and I began to lose the need to bury my head or run away.  Suddenly I wanted to face all of the disaster surrounding me and stop closing my eyes hoping everything would just disappear.  What a feeling as I began to shake the dirt from my head.  I began to hear clearly what God wanted for my life.  I could see a way out.  I started to taste freedom and I could feel the presence of God begin to take over my entire being.  I could smell the fragrance of Jesus in the air.
What caused me to pull my head out? I don’t really know.  I just knew inside of me that I was done with being buried in the sand.  I was done with the attacks from the enemy.  I was just done with all of it and I either could leave my eyes shut and my head buried in the sand or I could break free and run to Jesus.
Today I am grateful for freedom.  I am free to love again even when I thought it to be impossible.  I am free to be me and feel accepted.  I still have things to work through but for the most part I am healed.  I have hope now. No more ostrich syndrome for me!  I want to see everything God is doing in my life!
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He Showed Up

 

Colossians 3:9-10

New American Standard Bible (NASB

………since you laid aside the old [b]self with its evil practices, 10 and have put on the new self who is being [c]renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him—

Ever just sit soaking in the presence of God listening to music and ask Him a question?  A bona fide serious question not knowing what God will show you or reveal to that perhaps you had some wrong thinking about?  How often do we have pity parties in the dark because we feel as though we are not living up to God’s  expectations?  Feeling slightly out of order so to speak because we feel we are not hearing clearly or God did not perform some miraculous action in our life in awhile.  Not knowing what the answer will be or how He will show up, we ask for wisdom, direction, healing, correction and forgiveness.  Sometimes we cry out because we just have this burning question we don’t want to try to figure out on our own.

Tonight as I attending a soaking/teaching class, I sat down got out pen and paper and wrote to God this simple question: Lord, what do You want me to see tonight?  I then proceeded to circle the word “see”, closed my eyes and sought after God in the aroma of worship which had started.  Soon there He was instructing me to write what He was going to whisper in my ear.  I was ready to write the things He wanted me to see, however the first word He had me write was : Not.  Hmmmm…a bit baffled as to what would come next, but what followed was so what I needed to hear in the moment I was in.  Now since I vowed to be open and honest in my blog, the following is my list from God:

Not your circumstances currently, –Not your failures, –Not your misjudgements, –Not your lack of ability, –Not your lack of goals and –Not the empty promises

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+SEE My provisions, +SEE I am in control, +SEE My love, +SEE My works in your life, +SEE Me in your family, +SEE Me at your job, +SEE I have a Master Plan, +SEE Me turn bad into good, +SEE My Hand upon you, +SEE Me leading you our of the valley, +SEE Me healing, +SEE Me protecting and + SEE YOU HAPPY!!!!

All the minus signs and the plus signs are intentional and so is the bold lettering and the capitalization. God was surely trying to make is clear that He is working in my family, my marriage, my finances, my job and my home situation.  He is asking me to trust and continue in faith.  He pointed out the things which have no relevancy on what He has planned, in fact the minus ones are most likely holding me back from the promises He has for me.  Much like yesterday’s blog when I mentioned all the grumbling, I do not want to be blindsided by the negatives in my life and miss out on reaching the promise land!  I will meditate on this list this week and I urge you to ask God the same question I did and SEE what He shows to you.