Tag Archives: relationship

Who Took My Blankie?

My very own

Just recently I had a passionate conversation and I wished I had recorded it, however, I will do my best to repeat the magnitude of what was said.

We are born.  Not by our own choice, but God’s.  We come into this world very unaware of our surroundings.  No clue perhaps in those first few moments of taking our first breaths.  Then as if out of nowhere there is a cutting.  A sudden revelation of a separation takes place.  The life line which you had been connected to for nine or so months suddenly is gone.

Now of course in those early stages of life we don’t actually have those thoughts running through our heads as birthing is a natural process which has been happening in this earth for a very long time.  For those who have anxiety at the moment you can probably close your eyes and imagine that whole beginning scene.  Those with separation issues could also relate.  What you once knew as comfort and connection is suddenly gone. Taken away.

So let’s take this to the next level.  As children we often cling to things such as stuffed animals, dolls or the ever so popular blankie.  These items become very important to us in early life.  You share EVERYTHING with this object, things you probably never told anyone else except for maybe your imaginary friend if you had one around.  I remember my son had a favorite teddy bear.  He went every where my son went.  If it was time for Teddy to have a bath, my son would stand by the washer and dryer until the whole process was complete.  He was clearly attached.

For the purposes of this discussion I am going to use the representation of the Blankie as I move through this next phase.  The Blankie is going to represent things we cling to in life as a comfort: food, family, friends, secret sins, drugs, alcohol and the likes.  Anything which we choose to go to instead of God.  As with the Blankie, we develop a relationship with our source of comfort.  It’s the one thing we know that will never let us down, it does not have the ability to.  We know when no one else understands us, our Blankie will.  It will comfort us.  Keep us close.  Never rejecting us.  Always a true friend and confidante.

What happens when God asks us to let go of the Blankie so that He can be our comfort, our true friend and confidante?  Of course!  We panic.  We cling all the tighter to our Blankie because a fear rises up in us.  How can we trust anyone else with our Blankie?  It knows us inside and out and would never hurt us or reject us or leave us hanging.  How do we know we will find comfort after we let go of the Blankie?

It all comes down to trust.  A trust beyond all thinking.  A trust so strong you have no choice but to cling to it instead of your false comforts.  For you see, a Blankie is just a false representation of love and trust.  In the end, you can’t take it with you.  It will be burned up with the things of the past.  You will step into heaven and God will be there.  Not your Blankie,–your false comfort.

God is calling us to trust Him with EVERYTHING.  Just like we shared our entire early stages of life with said Blankie, God wants you to choose to trust Him.  He wants to be your comfort.  Your security.  You source of Acceptance.

Some of us are still clinging to our Blankies.  We are at a point in our adult lives where we are afraid of being hurt and disappointed.  We don’t want to give up the very thing which has been there all along.  Drugs, alcohol, secret sins, food, bad relationships and various other addictions are not our security.  They are not our comfort.  They are not to be trusted.  Only God. God is the only one who will never let you down.  He will be there from the beginning until the end.  You can take Him where ever you go.  You can share every secret with Him.

One final thought.  In the beginning, we are not the ones who get to choose who cuts the cord.  When it comes to our false comforts we don’t have to do anything but trust God to take them and heal us from the aftermath.  We run around this big earth thinking we have to do more.  Thinking we are the ones who have to fix ourselves before we can go to God.  Those are lies.  God will take your Blankie.  All you have to do is believe.


Dear Lord, Help me today to trust you with my Blankie.  I choose today to trust you with my Blankie.  I believe You can be trusted.  I believe You are my source of comfort and security.  Lord let me learn that the past is behind me and You are right in front of me, waiting to heal me.  I thank You Lord for removing those things in my life which are not of You.  I pray for all those who feel stuck in their sin or addictions that they made find true comfort in You alone and be healed from their wounds.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.


Dandelion Lives and Mashed Potatoes

Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?
Like the seeds on a dandelion stem we are but skeleton remains of what we were before Jesus began to heal us.  We are but a ghost of the image of what once was our self.  As we begin to seek God for answers on how to be healed and become whole it’s like we just keep blowing on those seeds and soon they disappear into the wind until all that is left is a stem.  This is where the dying process should begin but we as self-help gurus, want to start right at the beginning and kill the life out of our weeds.  For you see a dandelion is a weed to a beautiful, well kept lawn and the first thing we do is get our the spray and begin to annihilate life before it can begin.  But to God there is beauty to be beheld in the dandelion.
We as humans do the same thing to ourselves sometimes when we come to know Jesus.  All of a sudden there is an awareness of the sins which have surrounded us.  We start a no smoking program.  We join the nearest AA to control our drinking issues.  We do our best to stop swearing.  We stop gossiping about others.  We try to be nice to all people.  We try to fix all the wrong relationships in our lives all at once.   We begin to forgive our mothers, sisters, fathers, brothers, aunts, uncles, teachers and the multitude of people who have hurt us since birth.  What do we forget in this process?  Our very own selves.  We tend to misunderstand that all of the sin natures we have will begin to dissipate as we allow God to heal our wounded hearts.
We get so caught up in getting our lives in order and in line with God and trying to live right that we completely forget that we need to heal.  We need to forgive ourselves.  We need to right the relationship with ourselves.  Some of you are scratching your heads right now because this seems so backwards.  Some of you are saying that it could never happen because you have done so many wrong things.  Others of you are saying, what does loving myself got to do with anything?
Loving yourself is the center of who you are.  God created you to have an intimate relationship with and if you are not in tune with who you are because you don’t even want to approach you because of all the unlove, then how will you ever have a right relationship with God?  If we are always running away from our own issues, how are we ever going to be healed?  I think that we are so busy trying to figure out life that we forget it’s all up to God.  We were created by Love itself.
We need to come to this realization that God does all the healing and fixing of us.  We just need to surrender our will to His plan.  We need to be obedient to that still small voice.  We have to begin to believe all of the promises God has for us in the Bible.  We need to come to the full understanding that God loves us and will never leave our side.  Healing is a process.  Somethings can be healed instantly while other issues in our lives just take time.  We live in a society of instant mashed potatoes and I think we expect that if we just had water, butter and some heat to a heap of flakes our lives will be all back together in a matter of minutes.
Stop running.  Just stand still.  Rest.  Relax.  Hear God say. “I love you”  ” I miss you”  “Come spend some quiet time with me”  He is waiting for you to just give up.  To finally be able to say to Him, “Here I am Lord, fix me, I am broken and unable to put me back together.”

Beauty is Everything

Psalm 103:3-5

He forgives your sins—every one. He heals your diseases—every one. He redeems you from hell—saves your life! He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown. He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal. He renews your youth—you’re always young in his presence.
Ahhhh…beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Surrender is the key to inner beauty.  Fake beauty fades quickly leaving one empty, but true beauty beautifies everything in its path.  When you are walking with God there are no empty promises.  When there are no empty promises then your inner being is taken care of.  You feel refreshed and with purpose every day.  When your inner being is healed and whole, you find yourself wanting to help others feel this way to.
Beauty is everything.  Why?  Because God is beauty.  He is marvelous light.  He is salvation.  He is The Healer.  He restores.  He provides.  He waits.  He leads.  He guides.  All of these things my friends are beautiful things.
God created us in His image, therefore we need to really accept that we are beautiful, no matter what the world’s standards are.  This is the fourth blog about beauty I have written this week and I now feel more beautiful than ever as God has revealed it’s meaning to me.  I now can accept that I am beautiful not because a magazine tells me so, but because I know God says so.
Accepting who we are in Christ can sometimes be a difficult thing.  We may have grown up in a family where we told that we were too fat or too skinny.  Maybe we were told that we would never be as pretty as the girls in the magazines.  It’s hard to accept our own unique beauty when those around us are telling us the exact opposite.
This is where a tight relationship with God is the key to our success stories.  When we become so involved with God and what He thinks of us, nothing else matters anymore.  We are not moved by the opinions of others or bound to our past by chains of put-downs.
Begin today to see yourself like God does.  Go ahead, stare deep into that mirror.  Keep looking until you see yourself for the beautiful person you were created to be.  Stop listening to the lies and believe that God says you are beautiful.

Two Equals One Plus One Equals One

1 Corinthians 3:21-23

I don’t want to hear any of you bragging about yourself or anyone else. Everything is already yours as a gift—Paul, Apollos, Peter, the world, life, death, the present, the future—all of it is yours, and you are privileged to be in union with Christ, who is in union with God.
Love 4
When John and I decide to follow after God and get married, God provided all of it!  He found rings for us and a photographer.  We did the flowers and the cake on our own.  Within a few months we got married and began our journey as husband and wife.  We once were two and now we are one in Christ.  Neither of us can boast about our ministries.  We know that we cannot do anything apart from Christ and that is one constant in our life.
John has a unique ministry and so do I, yet as a married couple we minister together.  John ministers differently than I do but our ministries fit together like a hand and a glove.  Even though we have different calls on our lives, we mesh as one.  We have learned our strengths and weaknesses as a married couple and have sought God for the answers to any confusion.
It seems as if God sends people into our lives at just the right times to keep us moving forward as one unit.  God knows the plans He has for both of us.  He knew this before we were born.  John and I were talking the other day and we wondered if perhaps we knew each other in heaven when we were just spirits.  We have been best friends since the beginning, almost as if we already knew each other.
Love can never really be measured, but we know this for sure.  Love is deep when it is true.  You will need a deep vessel in which it carry it because you do not want to lose any of it.  If your love is shallow, it will not grow.  Roots need room to grow.  Roots need some place deep to reside in so as not to be easily uprooted by day to day things.  Choose to grow your love deep into the love of God.  Choose to let God be in charge of your marriage or relationship.  Begin to see your lives as seeds desiring to be massive fruit bearing plants for Jesus.

Where’s Your Water Supply?

John 4:10-13

New Living Translation (NLT)

10 Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

11 “But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? 12 And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”

13 Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again.


So I must apologize, I have been slacking!!  Some changes are happening in my life and we are in pursue of a house to rent and work has been busy.  In the mean time I seem to have put my writing aside a bit and I know that I need to prioritize things better so as not to begin back-sliding in the things of God.  So, I am back and I will continue to push for at least 5 blogs a week. On that note, here is today’s blog:

Rivers of living water are suppose to flow from our bellies when we are walking with God.  People should know right away that we are different in some way.  They should also be able to detect that we bring life with us where ever we go.  How is it that so many Christians are not portraying this?  Is the water we carry with us fresh and untainted?  Is it worthy to be shared so others may come to know this Jesus we carry in our hearts?

Let me just begin by saying simply, we once drew from the river of life, but now it seems as if we all draw from our own water supplies instead of seeking God for fresh water.  Let me explain how I feel about water supplies.  Once upon a time, long ago, there was one religion.  One way of seeking God.  One river which brought life to anyone who touched it.  Is Christianity today having the same affect or does it seem stagnant and not worthy of even possessing?    In my opinion, somehow we have gotten too far away from the main water supply and we are drawing from whatever suits our needs the best.

Not trying to step on any toes here are far as to religions, however, if we look at Christianity as a relationship then we all have to drink from the same well.  God loves each person on this planet, equally.  He desires for all mankind to come to know His Son and to be saved so that they may spend eternity in heaven.  How is this going to happen if we are all on different pages and in different books?  Christianity is a call for unity.  A call to be free in the things of God.  If this is to be proven true, then why are so many Christians in disagreement?  If we all love Jesus then why is there so much separation?

There is only one answer that makes any sense…Satan has used the conquer and divide method very well.  The more he can bind our thinking, the more confusion he brings to the body of Christ.  So we think we have all the answers and we take our “portion” of living water and set ourselves apart from the unity of the body because we think we are more right than the next person.  I feel that no matter what church we belong to, we should all be seeking the same water supply.

In conclusion, I just want to make it clear that it really does not matter how we get to God in the end, but it matters that we are all in the river of life when Jesus comes, not in our own little pool.  The purpose of our lives is to love one another and spread the gospel, so how did things get so out of focus?  We should not be focused on the number of people attending our churches but rather on the number of lives we can save from hell.

No Cookie Cutter For Me

Galatians 3:12

This way of faith is very different from the way of law, which says, “It is through obeying the law that a person has life.”
I chose not to be the same as everyone else.  I chose a different path than the ordinary.  I chose to seek God with all I am and not through someone else’s eyes.  I choose to continue on this path until I am in Heaven.  I am done following after man’s idea of God.  I am done with being hurt by those who call themselves Christians but are not really doing anything to change their own circumstances.  When I am standing before God in the end, it will be me and only me.  No one will be able to say the good or the bad about Brenda, except for me.
Now, having said all that, seeming to be a bit on the brassy side, my choices will lead me to love to a greater degree.  This choice for my life will enable me to have more compassion.  This choice will open my eyes so that I may clearly see just who God is.  I want to make a difference in this world but I want God to get all of the glory.  I am just a mere vessel for Him to flow through, other than that I am just a product of God’s creation.
We were created for His purposes.  We were created by Him for a relationship.  All He wants to do is LOVE because all He is, IS LOVE.  I am not sure how this world got so off course, however, I do know that if each of us choose to be who we were designed to be, then we can finally begin to change the eyes of this world.  I am convinced that the more God they see in us the more their faith will grow.
Yup, I am on my soapbox.  I am calling all Christians to begin to seek out  God’s will for their lives.  I encourage us to unite as one body with one goal in mind:  To seek out and save the lost and dying in this world.  Are you ready to move your life forward or are content to stay where you are?  Is going to church once a week enough to satisfy your longing to be different than the rest of the crowd?  I am not in a place of attack mode, I just want to show Jesus to you.  I want you to see just how much He desires to have a relationship with just you, everyday….not just Sundays.
I cannot speak for anyone else but myself.  I cannot be a Christian for anyone else.  I cannot be anything else than what God designed me to be and it is time for this Jesus Freak to start living a life worthy of being called a daughter of the King.  I am stepping into that river of provision and claiming my inheritance   Have you met this Jesus I speak of?  Of not let me introduce the two of you!

True Grace

2 Corinthians 4:15
All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.

Ever wonder how sometimes we have no understanding of how we end up where we do? We have been given a free will and often we as humans just take advantage of it thinking we know more than God does.  Twenty years ago I made the choice to marry a man I thought I could fix.  I knew he was a drinker but I thought for sure I could cure that.  Before we even got married I got pregnant with my son, this made me think that I had no choice now but to stay.  I could not see that God had a much bigger plan for my life, yet what happened over the last 20 years has given me the ability to love with a compassion for others like I might never have gained.

As I watched my husband spiral out of control, I felt so stuck and lost in a relationship that I soon realized had nothing to do with God.  As I stood by my husband even in his complete brokenness  I felt empty as if I had no purpose but to keep this man alive for his children.  I was lost.  I was alone.  I was hurting.  I was confused and broken.  My heart was shattered in a million pieces yet I stood beside him until three years ago.  While I sat in an emergency room watching my husband fight for his life from a drug overdose/suicide attempt, I cried out to God.  I finally wanted out.  I could not stand beside him any longer.

Three years have passed and I am now divorced.  It was not a choice I found easy to make, however it was by God’s grace that I was released.  I was willing to stand and wait for my husband to be healed.  I would have done anything God said to do, but He was silent for so long on the subject until I was willing to just surrender it all and leave it at the cross.  I was alone for the whole three years up until God gave me the release to pursue divorce.  Within a few days of my release, God gave me a chance at life again.

He sent a man into my life who would show me what a right relationship was.  He stands now beside me even in my brokenness.  He seeks God first and brings me only things which will edify me.  He understands my weaknesses and does his best to love me right where I am, insecurities and all.  As we have chosen to be married due to what God had began in our spirits, we spoke about how I needed to feel release from my ex-husband.  We talked with our pastor and he said that some day, my ex-husband would thank John for taking care of me, realizing that he couldn’t.  We figured it would be years down the road as it was a huge statement to receive.

This is how great God’s grace really is.  First the phone call a few weeks before the divorce went through and then at the courthouse the day of the divorce.  After all was said and done and the judgement for divorce was granted, he called me over and said how happy he was for me and that he wished me the best.  I felt overwhelmed at his kindness and grace only to watch him them walk over to John and speak the same thing to him.  Grace, true grace.  Only God can instill that grace in another human being.  Even though I know my ex-husband was hurting, I knew he meant every word of what he spoke.

Today as I look forward to remarriage and a bright horizon of moving into the realm of a right relationship ordained by God, I am filled with such wonder at how God does what He does.  We know beyond the shadow of a doubt that our steps are ordered by the Lord, therefore, everything we endured in our lives up to this point is God’s true grace on our lives.  Even when we make the wrong choices, He sees fit to continue to give us grace until we are back on track with our destiny.