Tag Archives: rejection

Orphan, sister to Rejection

Ephesians 1:5-6 [Full Chapter]

[ The God of Glory ] How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.
This is a story about a young woman who became pregnant at a very early age from a circumstance out of her control.  As the issue of pregnancy was brought out into the open along came with it several thoughts: fear, abortion, uncertainty, turmoil, distress, rejection, abandonment and probably many emotions.  How was she going to raise a baby when she herself was still a child?  How would she be able to afford it?  Would she even know what to do when the baby cried?  As the mother went through all of these thought processes, little did she so know so did the infant being created in her womb. Fear, doubt, rejection, unworthiness:  all off these contribute to the orphan state of mind.  
I am a product of an unwed mother.  I was given up for adoption and raised with parents who were not my own.  I never knew why I struggled with rejection my entire life until about 6 years ago when I began to go through stages of deliverance.  I always felt like the odd man out.  Never really fit in.  Had thoughts that I was never good enough.  My adoptive parents always told me I was adopted and that they always wanted me but it never felt real to me.  Instead I thought I was a throw away, my real mom didn’t want me because I was defective for some reason.(having met my real mom, there is no truth to this thought)  Rejection had a stronghold on me and it really didn’t want to let go, however through pray and surrender I was able to overcome the rejection status in my life.  I became more confident in who I was and began to heal.  Overcoming rejection allowed me to write books and get them published.  Overcoming rejection allowed me to remarry a man again and lead a successful life.  So why am I writing about orphans today?
Because, last night at church someone prayed over me and said, “You are wanted.  You are not an orphan.  You were meant to be born, abortion was never the answer.”  What did that do to my spirit?  I cried.  The pain was unbearable.  I did not even realize I was holding onto this, I thought it went when I overcame rejection.  I was perplexed and grieving at the same time.  How had the enemy held me in bondage for 45 years?
How many of you struggle with rejection and the feeling of being an orphan?  I bet there are many.  Well, I am here today to tell you that you are not rejected.  You are not an orphan.  God has created you for a plan and a purpose and you are not a mistake.  He loves you and has accepted you as His own son or daughter.  He delights in seeing you everyday.  Though the world may be cruel and mean, He longs to protect you from all of that.  He invites you into His presence.  He is willing to listen.  He is waiting for you to surrender the pain of rejection and abandonment so that He can heal you from it.
You don’t have to be adopted to feel rejection and abandonment so this message is for everyone.  I encourage you to take a moment right now and let it all go.  If you have to cry then cry.  If you have to scream then scream.  Do what ever it takes to give this ugliness to God.  Your freedom is right around the corner.  

Plugging in ALL of My Lights

1 Corinthians 2:9 [Full Chapter]

We, of course, have plenty of wisdom to pass on to you once you get your feet on firm spiritual ground, but it’s not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God’s wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don’t find it lying around on the surface. It’s not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven’t a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn’t have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That’s why we have this Scripture text: No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him. But you’ve seen and heard it because God by his Spirit hasbrought it all out into the open before you.

What does it mean to give it all? Webster’s dictionary says GIVE means: to make a present of, to grant or bestow by formal action, to put in the possession of another for his or her use, to administer as a sacrament, to commit to another as a trust or responsibility and usually for an expressed reason, to transfer from one’s authority or custody. And the definition of ALL is: the whole, entire, total amount, quantity or extent of.  Hmmmmm, so giving it all when you are following after God simply means:

 All of me as a present to God in a formal manner, putting me in His possession as a living sacrifice, committing myself to His authority, trusting that when I give my all to Him I am allowing Him to have my entire being, mind, body and soul.

Wow!  Until today as I am writing this to you, I think I was deceived into believing that I could just give God what I thought He needed of me at the time.  I am beginning to see the light!  The light of truth.  If we could only come to this place where we just give it all at one time we could see changes in us that may have taken years come to reality in a shorter period of time.  Think about it, if you have a string of Christmas lights and it has 300 bulbs that fit in it and you put only one in each day it would take you 300 days before you could enjoy the lights! But if you put all the lights in it the day that you received it, the light would be on from that moment forward.

Now don’t get lost here, I have a point.  When we come to know Christ in that one moment of acceptance, He gives us everything we need to survive this world, He gives us salvation and grace and unconditional love and the blessing of the Holy Spirit.  What if He only gave it to us one piece at a time?  Some of us would be stuck in the mud for a very long time before we came to see the fullness of Christ in our lives!  But when we choose Jesus we get it all, it is that moment we should come to believe that we are to give it all to Jesus….all of our garbage:  addictions, rejection, insecurities, desires, any brokenness or ungodliness.

However, this is a difficult from the standpoint of how many of us come to meet Jesus.  So many of us come with such a hunger for something different yet we are too broken to figure out what part of God we should take part of first.  As we grow and mature we soon discover how massive God’s love is for us and we begin to give Him more and more pieces of us.  Sometimes we are so overcome by His love that we decide to just give it all to Him.  This is what is happening to me right now.  I have this overwhelming desire to give every tiny little but of myself over to God.  I have come to this place in life where nothing else matters but God and His agenda for my life.

So I am choosing to put all the light bulbs in the string and plug into what God has for my life, are you willing to do the same?

Broken Friends


“Confront me with the truth and I’ll shut up, show me where I’ve gone off the track. Honest words never hurt anyone, but what’s the point of all this pious bluster? You pretend to tell me what’s wrong with my life, but treat my words of anguish as so much hot air. Are people mere things to you? Are friends just items of profit and loss?
Warning!  Warning!  Warning!!
What you are about to read may cause you to remember some not so nice things about your past.  I apologize up front for any emotional roller coaster I have taken you on.  
Just recently the Lord has been dealing on my past, as ugly as some of it was, and the things He brought to my attention were not so pretty.  My life as many of yours, has not been a bed of roses.  My parents adopted me when I was 9 months old and I was brought into a home where I was wanted and loved but the same did not ring true for my parents.  My dad drank and my mom constantly nagged him.  As I grew older I just wanted to run away to where ever I could escape the stress.
As I looked to friendships to fill voids in my life, I learned to confide in others very easily and I trusted.  Always trusted.  Then at age 5 my best friend Wendy moved away.  Now some say age 5??  Well I remember as if it was yesterday.  I remember waving goodbye on the curb as my only friend was driven away by her parents.  Then at age 8 my next best friend Kim moved to Texas with her family.  I still can remember the emptiness I felt as one by one they left.
Then the heart-breaker was when Eleanor died and went to be with Jesus.  I don’t remember how old I was but I remember waiting for her to come home on the bus (she was handi-capped) and as soon as she would get off the bus we would go lay in the grass for hours and watch the clouds in the sky.  When Jesus took her home I was just devastated.  As time went by I had friends but no one really close until just before Junior High.  My friend and I got really close and I spent more time at her house than my own.  Her sisters and brothers were like my own.
Then one day she confronted me and all of a sudden she did not like me anymore.  She said she did not like the way I did my hair or make up and other various things about me and it shattered my idea of what best friends were.  Through out the remainder of Junior High and High school I had friends.  Some were close and others were just fun to hang out with.  At this point I really did not want to get too close to anyone.  The rejection that I felt from my past Best Friend relationships was too much to bear repeating.
When I got married, my ex-husband separated me from most of my friends. As my life began to revolve itself around raising kids and taking care of my ex-husband and trying to hold down a full time job, I felt I just did not have time for any friendships.  Even when I started to go back to church I really did not see any need to seek out a best friend.  I figured God was all I had left and He would never leave me.
Just recently my husband and I started a class at church called Love and Respect and the facilitator was instructing the husbands to choose someone to be accountable to.  He said the wives did not need to do that because they always were talking to someone on the phone or had a circle of friends to help hold them accountable.  My immediate thought was, “Not Me!”  I no longer have a best friend.  I have no one in my life except my husband to confide in.  I don’t have someone to call at 2 am if I have a crisis that just needs a girlfriends help.  I was bestfriendless…..and to me that was just fine.
What I saw in all of this was rejection.  I did not even realize I had a fear of rejection until that man spoke that one sentence about finding an accountability partner other than our spouse………
God has a funny way of doing things for sure.  After class I was in the sanctuary during the opening welcome and a friend came to me with exciting news and I just looked at her with tears in my eyes and I asked her to be my best friend.  
Here is another prime example of how God knows exactly what we need before it’s anything we want in life and soon we come to the realization that it’s what we needed all along.  For me it is on to new beginnings.  I am searching the face of God on this new best friend relationship.  It’s been so long for me that I am not sure I even know how to be a best friend to anybody but my hubby.  
So now that I have bared my soul on Best Friends I hope I have not stirred up some things in you, BUT, if I did, I pray God begins a new work in you.  I pray God leads you to that perfect friendship.  A friendship that is lasting and edifying,  One that will withstand any storm it faces.  God is love and love is true friendships.  We all need that one person separate from our home life that we can trust and confide in.  Someone who will listen.  Someone who will laugh and cry with you.  But most of all someone who will hold you to that higher standard.


 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.Colossians 3:13 MSG

??????????Ever feel the sting of rejection?  It’s like those rocks in the quarry.  You pick one up, inspect it and throw it back down.  You may do this all day long until you find that one perfect stone you want to keep.   Sometimes we may pick up the rock we think we want just to toss it back into the pile before we go.  Often times we pick up treasured rocks and then just put them away for later or forget about them all together.

Sometimes this is how we are as humans looking for that perfect person to spend our life’s deepest secrets with.  Maybe we do it when we are seeking friendship.  What if the marriage or the friendship doesn’t work out like we wanted it to? What happens to those “rocks”?  They get thrown aside or just plain forgotten about.

I myself have felt rejection right from the get go.  Never thought I was meant to be born. Hardly had any friends in school.  I was teased and picked on.  Friends rejected me in all areas of my life even just recently.  So how do I deal with this injustice?  Here is my simple true answer:  Jesus.

Do you know that God hand picked you?  He chose you out of a pile of rubble and inspected you.  Yes He saw your flaws.  Yes He was well aware of your faults.  He even knew you were not qualified for the purposes He had for you life.  Nevertheless He picked you up, dusted you off and you became His treasure.  My eyes brim with tears as I picture Him in the quarry choosing His stones.

We are not what we see ourselves and no matter how many times rejection has come into our lives, He always chooses us.  He picks us up and holds us close to His heart.  He begins to polish us and clean off our ugliness.  He takes time and is patient in His work because He loves us with all of His heart.

I want you right now to stop what you are doing.  Close your eyes after you read this.  Imagine God standing in a quarry of stones.  He is looking for one to use for His purposes.  He may pass over the shiny one.  He might even have to move some rocks around until He finds you, the one He has been searching for all this time.  You are the chosen one. Chosen by God for a specific purpose.  Just marinate in this picture for a moment until you feel the love of God permeating your every fiber.  Friends, this is how much He loves you.

Hidden Seeds

Galatians 6:8

The Message (MSG)

7-8 Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.


How many of us have sat in church service after church service and gleaned valuable information about God and the Bible?  Now, how many of us have taken that to the streets and shared it?  The New Testament tells us to tell all the nations. Share the Good News with everyone you meet!  Why do we find it so hard to share the Awesome News of Jesus everywhere we go?

We are like squirrels.  Yup! Squirrels.  We find a seed. Stalk it out. Make sure no one is looking and then we bury it, often not knowing where it is in a few months time.  In Michigan we have an abundance of forgotten about seeds call Oak Trees.  I think it might just be God’s humor but they multiply and so do their leaves.  Any way, I digress I bit.  God gives us seeds to be planted in others.  We accept Jesus, go to church and learn how to teach others about Jesus.  Why does it seem like the message stops at the pew?

This is a plaguing question for many of us.  We want everyone to be saved yet we know there is rejection out there and we have had enough of that so we are going to just bury that seed in our hearts and we will use it when necessary, when we come across just the right person.  Now I know that we are to keep the Word of God hidden in our hearts so I am not talking about that at the moment.  I mean spiritual truths that might win somebody to Christ.  Words of wisdom that may make a person go, “Hmmmm, that does make sense.”

So I encourage all of us not be like those squirrels who gather and bury all day long.  Let’s be doers of the Word and start planting seeds which will grow into fruitful trees of life which can be found resting along the river banks.  If each one of us planted one seed the moment we left church say at the grocery store or the local park, could you imagine how many people could be reached for Jesus?  Plant seeds, remember where you plant them and watch life happen right before your eyes! Oh, and one more thing…..someone once planted a seed in you.

Facing Reality

Psalm 66:12

Then you put a leader over us. We went through fire and flood, but you brought us to a place of great abundance.
Time to be real…hate that.  I am really great at pretending everything is just fine when the reality of the situation rears its ugly face and I come to the strange realization that I have been hiding again.  Each time I think I have things all figured out, something sneaks up and grabs me out of no where and it shakes me until I stare it in the face and deal with it.  Sigh, some call it walking through the fire, I like to call it a cry in the wilderness.  No wait, SCREAMING, in the face of distress.
I spent a lot of my life making everything on the surface seem fine.  I held a full time job, raised two kids, went to church and made the world think things were just honky dory when the reality of the situation was I was falling apart piece by piece and no one even noticed.  I lived each day the same as the one before and it seemed as if I did not know any different.  As I began to seek God in my life, things began to change.  I cried every time the worship started at church.  I began to share my story with the people God had placed in my life.  God began cracking my shell and soon I was spilling my guts out everywhere and this is where God could finally take over.
Once I was an open book so to speak, God could start writing new chapters again.  He created a new life for me and it was if I slammed the first book closed, right when I thought things were all in alignment again.  I moved into a whole new book even though there were unfinished chapters in the first one.  For you see, I moved on with me and what God had set in motion for my life and left my kids behind in the other book.  Hmmmm, I wonder how that happened?
Today, I faced the reality of a split family face to face, nose to nose.  Though I have moved out of my life of disarray I seemed to have left my own children to fend for themselves…who does that?  In light of all of this, I can see hope.  Now that things have been brought to the surface they can be dealt with.  Now that each party has been forced so to speak to spill their guts, things can change for the better.  Facing reality may not seem like a fun thing to do, however it opens up our hearts for the possibility for change.
Facing reality can be labeled as toxic, not to be messed with our hearts are not open to the possibility of things being set right.  Facing reality means you have to stop pretending everything is okay.  Facing reality means there are some changes that will occur.  Finally, facing reality means coming to terms with rejection, pride, self-worth, pain, brokenness, heart issues, run-a-way emotions, anger issues and so many other ugly things about ourselves.  Is it time for a reality check in your life?