Tag Archives: presents

What? No Lasagna or Spaghetti????

Instructed by the king, they set off. Then the star appeared again, the same star they had seen in the eastern skies. It led them on until it hovered over the place of the child. They could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time!
It’s that time a year again when everyone is running around last minute trying to find the perfect gift for everyone they know.  Some are spending money they really don’t have to spend and others are wondering where they will even get the money in the first place.  Others are finding themselves in depressions because they don’t have anyone to even spend Christmas with.  How did this holiday season get so out of hand?  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. I love the colors and lights.  I love the decorated trees and the presents under them.  But in reality is it just a cover up?
This may be a little raw for some to read and it may seem kinda on the sad side of things, but this is a blog about my real life, so here it goes.  For the several years in my first marriage we just scraped by ALOT.  Our children did not always have the newest of things or the latest contraption but I can assure you, Christmas was their time of year.  Feeling guilty for all of the things we could not get during the year, we over did it on Christmas.  We would spend our whole pay check plus any bonuses on Christmas..not leaving any finances for bills.
Did the kids have a great Christmas?  Sure did.  Did all of those “things” really mean anything in the the long run?  What my family needed was a year full of love not a one day show.  I look back at my dysfunctional past and I just want to scream!  I feel like we robbed our children of a true representation of a family.  I sometimes wish I could go back and change things and then I realize it all happened and nothing can change the past, we can only move forward.
So now, we don’t make a huge effort on Christmas to get gifts.  We have a set amount to spend and that’s it.  But one thing we do have still is each other.  We have good memories and bad and that holds us together.  It really caught me off guard this year when I forgot a very important tradition.  I called my daughter and suggested that we do Chinese for dinner this year and I heard her disappointment when she simply said, “What? No lasagna and spaghetti this year?”  How could I have completely forgotten a 19 year tradition?  I still remember when Alex (my son) was four years old and I had made lasagna and garlic bread for Christmas Eve with a beautiful candle lit dinner.  We were about half way done with dinner and he piped up and said, “Mom, can we do this every year?”
So every year since we have had lasagna and spaghetti ( the spaghetti started when Alex was about 12 and suddenly didn’t like lasagna) and I can’t believe I almost forgot this year.  But what does this say?  It says it really wasn’t about the overload of presents all along, it was about being with family and enjoying the little things which didn’t cost much.  It was about feeling loved, accepted and valued.
I pray each of you had a wonderful Christmas no matter how you celebrated.  I pray that all have seen Jesus this year in some way shape or form.  I pray 2015 will be a year of many blessings and grace!  

Crooked Trees and Frosted Cookies

Mark 4:21-22

 Jesus went on: “Does anyone bring a lamp home and put it under a washtub or beneath the bed? Don’t you put it up on a table or on the mantel? We’re not keeping secrets, we’re telling them; we’re not hiding things, we’re bringing them out into the open.
We sing the carols. We see the family.  We buy the gifts.  We send the cards. We say Happy Holidays to everyone we meet.  We make special dinners.  We decorate the tree.  We string popcorn.  We light the candle wrap the presents.  We frost dozens of cookies.  We stock the stockings.  We tell the stories.  We attend church. Does this make it really Christmas or does it just appear to be?
We argue about what to buy.  We complain about the tree size. We get mad at the cat. We often go broke.  We ignore other financial obligations.  We are tired.  We are weary.  We go above our normal routine just to get the perfect gift.  We eat too many cookies.  We dread seeing family.  We hate cranberry sauce.  We’d rather eat the popcorn.  We go to church because grandma said so.  We dread pretending to be happy.  We are disappointed with our gifts.  We never seem to get what we really wanted.
Do we really even get what Christmas is?  What does it really mean to you?  Christmas is a holiday to most of us that really can either stretch or stress us.  So many people out there are just trying to get by, that when Christmas comes they lose all hope in God at all.  I know families out there who will not have much of a Christmas but I believe God will show up.  I believe we have a loving God who will take care of us according to His will if we are willing to seek Him.
Jesus came to save this world from sin.  Sin causes pain.  If He came to save us from sin then He also came to save us from pain.  For so many the holidays are just filled with pain, not joy.  The NIV version of the Bible mentions joy 244 times.  To me that means it’s pretty important to God that we find joy.  This year for me even though I am happy in life, Christmas just does not have the same meaning as it used to.  It seems to have lost its joy.  We have not even put up a tree yet and usually that goes up the minute Thanksgiving is over with.  Not sure what is going on in my heart with this but I am seeking God for answers.
This Christmas I urge us all to really look at that day and explain to ourselves why we celebrate? What we celebrate? How we celebrate? Who are we celebrating?  If Jesus is not the answer then we have an appearance of Christmas.  We need to begin to seek the face of God and ask Him to show us Christmas so that we can start to tell others what it really means.

Days 19, 20 and 21: What IS the Real Meaing of Christmas?

Presents, Presents, Presents!

1 Peter 4:10
God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.

As once again I find myself behind in posting, I am choosing to use these three days to speak out about presents and gifts.  Partially responsible for the insanity of the season, gifts take us through many journeys this time of year.  We go from store to store looking for just the perfect gifts to give to those awesome people in our lives.  Then of course we have the lists of “have to get gifts” which sometimes leads to temporary insanity because we are at a loss as to what to get.  When we feel obligated to buy for certain people just because they are on a list, the presents lose their value.  And of course what about those who just want a few things and are very difficult to buy for?

Every year we spend more and more time and money getting just the right items for people.  We want to make things bigger and better than the year before.  We did this with our two children.  As we struggled under our circumstances, we never did much for our children throughout the year so we felt like we had to make up for it on Christmas.  We spent our bonuses and our last paychecks before Christmas going all out so there would be a spectacular display on Christmas morning only to have Santa Claus get all the glory and be broke for months afterwards.  We would spend hours wrapping and taping and usually ended up getting into an argument which led to me wrapping by myself and laying my head on the pillow just as the first kid was getting up in excitement.

Now don’t get me wrong, I loved Christmas.  The look of amazement on the faces of my children just made me all warm and fuzzy inside. We always had cinnamon rolls right out of the oven for breakfast and then we started the unwrapping one by one only for it to be over in a matter of less than a half hours time.  I still to this day feel like I can never get enough for my kids yet I have come to realization that they never loved us for the gifts and more than anything they probably just wanted our time and love.

I guess what I am trying to get at is that we cannot make up love with gifts.  Getting things for people is fun when it is done out of love not obligation.  We spent money trying to make up for the lack of the year only to find our children losing interest quickly in the “gotta have it” toys as they moved quickly on to the “next best thing” and they began to look forward to their birthdays.  Christmas in our house was about the magic of Santa and the pursuit of temporary happiness while in the background we were losing out on so much more.  My kids would have been happier with us spending time playing family games or reading books but because we felt guilty from not getting them things during the year, we over compensated.

This year as I am getting back to the basics, I told my now teenage children, there was not going to be much as finances were truly tight.  This year there is no bonus and it’s just me and things are tight.  I told the kids I would only be getting a few things and you know what? They are okay with that.  It isn’t always about getting material things, sometimes it is just knowing there is love involved and that you have not forgotten about them that matters the most.  I do not have many to buy for this year and I am choosing not to put myself into debt over gifts and presents.  Sometimes the greatest gifts are in what we can give when we least expect it, something we did even have to plan.  Let me give you an example from a recent event in my life.

My daughter and I were eating a a nearby restaurant and this young family wandered in as they were waiting for the city bus.  As they were coming into the building we overheard someone talking about them and judging purely based on just their appearances.  It was a set of young parents walking with a little bundle of joy in a stroller in Michigan in the cold.  The mom had to finish her cigarette before coming into the restaurant and this seemed to bother the people behind us. As I tried to ignore the ramblings of this group of people, I felt God laying on my heart to give this family some money as they looked to be in need.  Funny part is that someone had blessed me just that very morning and I was rather tickled that God wanted me to bless this family.

I took a money from my wallet and wrapped in this paper I had received recently from a visit to a live nativity that said, “Your debt has been paid in full, Jesus paid the price” and I walked over and told them this might seem strange but I felt they needed this. I handed them the gift I had for them and walked out the door telling them to have a Merry Christmas.  While we were driving away I prayed for the little family and my daughter could see them sitting in the lobby and told me that she thought the mom was crying.  With tears in my eyes I continued to pray.  I knew in my heart, that I was honoring God in that very moment.  I knew He provides for those who love Him and He will make a way for this family.  I also was reminded that in my deepest times of trouble during the holidays I was always grateful when God sent strangers into my life to help.

So this year as I have minimized the craziness of the Christmas season and am discovering what it really means, I am seeing that gift giving is a powerful way to connect others to the real reason, we have just taken it too far.  I encourage you to look at your Christmas list and evaluate it with the perspective of:  Are you really giving out of love?  Perhaps you too give out of guilt like we did for years.  Maybe some of the people on the list are just out of obligation.  Whatever the reason is for your giving, I pray God will show you His way of giving gifts and usually those are very unexpected.