Tag Archives: pray

Broken Friends


“Confront me with the truth and I’ll shut up, show me where I’ve gone off the track. Honest words never hurt anyone, but what’s the point of all this pious bluster? You pretend to tell me what’s wrong with my life, but treat my words of anguish as so much hot air. Are people mere things to you? Are friends just items of profit and loss?
Warning!  Warning!  Warning!!
What you are about to read may cause you to remember some not so nice things about your past.  I apologize up front for any emotional roller coaster I have taken you on.  
Just recently the Lord has been dealing on my past, as ugly as some of it was, and the things He brought to my attention were not so pretty.  My life as many of yours, has not been a bed of roses.  My parents adopted me when I was 9 months old and I was brought into a home where I was wanted and loved but the same did not ring true for my parents.  My dad drank and my mom constantly nagged him.  As I grew older I just wanted to run away to where ever I could escape the stress.
As I looked to friendships to fill voids in my life, I learned to confide in others very easily and I trusted.  Always trusted.  Then at age 5 my best friend Wendy moved away.  Now some say age 5??  Well I remember as if it was yesterday.  I remember waving goodbye on the curb as my only friend was driven away by her parents.  Then at age 8 my next best friend Kim moved to Texas with her family.  I still can remember the emptiness I felt as one by one they left.
Then the heart-breaker was when Eleanor died and went to be with Jesus.  I don’t remember how old I was but I remember waiting for her to come home on the bus (she was handi-capped) and as soon as she would get off the bus we would go lay in the grass for hours and watch the clouds in the sky.  When Jesus took her home I was just devastated.  As time went by I had friends but no one really close until just before Junior High.  My friend and I got really close and I spent more time at her house than my own.  Her sisters and brothers were like my own.
Then one day she confronted me and all of a sudden she did not like me anymore.  She said she did not like the way I did my hair or make up and other various things about me and it shattered my idea of what best friends were.  Through out the remainder of Junior High and High school I had friends.  Some were close and others were just fun to hang out with.  At this point I really did not want to get too close to anyone.  The rejection that I felt from my past Best Friend relationships was too much to bear repeating.
When I got married, my ex-husband separated me from most of my friends. As my life began to revolve itself around raising kids and taking care of my ex-husband and trying to hold down a full time job, I felt I just did not have time for any friendships.  Even when I started to go back to church I really did not see any need to seek out a best friend.  I figured God was all I had left and He would never leave me.
Just recently my husband and I started a class at church called Love and Respect and the facilitator was instructing the husbands to choose someone to be accountable to.  He said the wives did not need to do that because they always were talking to someone on the phone or had a circle of friends to help hold them accountable.  My immediate thought was, “Not Me!”  I no longer have a best friend.  I have no one in my life except my husband to confide in.  I don’t have someone to call at 2 am if I have a crisis that just needs a girlfriends help.  I was bestfriendless…..and to me that was just fine.
What I saw in all of this was rejection.  I did not even realize I had a fear of rejection until that man spoke that one sentence about finding an accountability partner other than our spouse………
God has a funny way of doing things for sure.  After class I was in the sanctuary during the opening welcome and a friend came to me with exciting news and I just looked at her with tears in my eyes and I asked her to be my best friend.  
Here is another prime example of how God knows exactly what we need before it’s anything we want in life and soon we come to the realization that it’s what we needed all along.  For me it is on to new beginnings.  I am searching the face of God on this new best friend relationship.  It’s been so long for me that I am not sure I even know how to be a best friend to anybody but my hubby.  
So now that I have bared my soul on Best Friends I hope I have not stirred up some things in you, BUT, if I did, I pray God begins a new work in you.  I pray God leads you to that perfect friendship.  A friendship that is lasting and edifying,  One that will withstand any storm it faces.  God is love and love is true friendships.  We all need that one person separate from our home life that we can trust and confide in.  Someone who will listen.  Someone who will laugh and cry with you.  But most of all someone who will hold you to that higher standard.

She said What?????!!!!


When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
So did you hear about the pastor who said this about grace? How bout that minister who just does marriages for first timers? Maybe you heard about the priest who has been visiting people in bars?  Did you hear about that church couple who have been fighting?  Can you believe that so and so are searching for a divorce lawyer?  Did you know that Mr. and Mrs. Busybodies are no longer attending that church?  Did you hear about that teen in youth group is pregnant and it’s by another teen student that goes to another church?  
Why does anything I mentioned in the first paragraph matter to us?  If I am correct the Bible clearly states that we are to love one another.  Why is that so tough? Probably because we are human.  Maybe because when we go through things and are set free we expect everyone else to have the same views.  Maybe we have this belief system that because we were set free from certain things that others should be able to also with no issues.  What we fail to recognize is that we all have come from different walks of life and some things which were easy for us to break away from may not be so easy for others.
Now clearly, there are some folks I would just like to drag right to Jesus’ feet and make them sit, but we all know that is not a reality in any situation.  We all have to find God in our own way.  We have to be the ones willing to be changed from the inside out.  With our free wills, we have to begin to allow God to cut us like that rough diamond and create in us a clean, precise image…one just like Jesus.
So what do we do when someone is speaking about another person?  Choose not to get involved.  Offer prayer as an option instead of standing in judgement.  Begin to show how God’s Word instructs us to love…no where does it say to speak ill of anyone.  I know it is really hard to separate ourselves from the world, yet if we are going to show the love of Christ to anyone then this is something we need to be able to do, love.  We at times seem to be incapable of loving others and this stems from being unloved in certain situations in our own lives.  
We have to go against everything within us sometimes and push to love.  Push aside pain.  Push aside distrust.  Push aside offenses.  I like the analogy I have heard about PUSH.  Pray Until Something Happens.  This is what we need to do in situations where we just don’t want to love.  This is what we need to do when rumors need stopping.  We just need to say, “Because God Says….”


1 John 3:17

If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?
018compassionSo Jesus saved us.  We are covered by His grace from the moment we accepted Him as our savior.  Most of us can remember the feeling we had the moment we entered into salvation.  The joy which bubbled up.  The happiness that flooded our hearts.  We were ready to tackle the world for Jesus.  Suddenly we wanted the whole world to know about what Jesus did for us on that cross.  What happened to our compassion for some of us?  How did we lose that moment we had when we were saved?  When was the last time we even mentioned Jesus to anyone?
I am just as guilty as the next person.  There have been times when I should have shared Jesus with a complete stranger and I chose not to.  How many times have I been too busy to share Jesus?  Too many times to count I would say over the last 37 years since I have been saved.  I keep getting this reoccurring theme in my head:  love one another and spread the Gospel.  Love one another.  It is the last commandment Jesus gave His people.  Love one another.  How do we do this?  Where do we find the compassion to take the time to not walk away when we know someone is hurting?
Spread the Gospel.  Many times I have said, why should I share it with this person?  They are just going to push me away and not listen. What if they don’t even care?  Well, the truth of the matter is if people reject what you are sharing about the gospel then they are not rejecting you, they are in reality rejecting Jesus.  If this happens then move on to the next person.  If we don’t start sharing the gospel, how many will perish in hell?

If Jesus had enough compassion to die for us then we should have enough passion to share the story so others may feel the joy and happiness we once felt.  We need to begin to search our hearts and relocate the passion we once had burning for others to be saved.  I know I get shy sometimes and I hold back but every time I hold back what good is it doing?  We need to come to the realization that yes we have families and jobs because we are a part of this world, however once we are in Christ our responsibilities increase concerning the Kingdom.
I pray right now that all of us receive a dose of passion to increase our compassion. There are so many hurting lost people out there that need to hear some Good News.  We need to be so tired of seeing pain and agony that our hearts swell up with this overwhelming desire to share Jesus with everyone we meet.  We need to stop passing up opportunities and trust God to have already opened the door before we pass that person on the street.  Close your eyes after you read this and remember the moment you chose to let Jesus into your heart……don’t you want to open that door for someone else?

Always Planned Out

Psalm 37:23
The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

Ever just been freaking out about something?  Trying to make sense of where you are suppose to be going in life?  You toss and turn at night thinking up ways of accomplishing things?  You plan every detail of your day out and then something goes wrong, throwing everything into a tailspin.  Perhaps you were sure that you knew what was suppose to happen only to discover, God had different plans.  That very thing has been happening over and over again in my life and I am finally beginning to sit back and rely on God to do His thing.

Just today I was trying to get stuff pulled from the trailer in preparation to move into my dad’s house for awhile and I was contemplating calling about having the trailer pulled out and destroyed when God just filled us with revelation  Why get rid of a paid for trailer when my daughter was in need of a place to stay?  She could afford the rent and it would be close to work.  Funny how I never thought about it before.  Now, granted there is a lot of work that needs to be done, but leave it to God to work this out too.  He provided a man who is willing to gut the trailer completely and rebuild it.

How amazing is our God that we really do not need to think things out for ourselves?  If He has already ordered our steps then why do we think we need to do anything but pray for direction?  I have so much peace about the next few months as I move in to my dads, my daughter gets the renewed trailer, I get married and we move into our new home when God says it’s time. For now I am content to be staying with my dad and being able to take care of him.  I am happy God is working things out in the order He already designed.  I am very eager to stay in this time of total surrender, allowing God to do what He wants with my life.

Are you ready to let go and let God?  Maybe it is time to just let things be.  Time to stop worrying and fretting about your next steps.  Relax, God has it all under control and things are already set in motion by God Himself.  Who are we to change His plans?

All Things New

1 Peter 1:12
They were told that their messages were not for themselves, but for you. And now this GoodNews has been announced to you by those who preached in the power of the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. It is all so wonderful that even the angels are eagerly watching these things happen.

Alrighty!  I have always promised to keep my blog real and about matters of the heart.  This one might be a little open but here it goes.  If you know me at all or are Facebook friends with me you will notice I never really openly smile.  Those who know me at work, also know that I do not open mouth smile very often.  Well, reason being my front teeth are broken and I am embarrassed to smile.  As I spent most of my marriage focused on many other things, not myself I let me go.  Now that God has turned my life into a tale of prosper and blessing, I am able to regain what I had lost.  I truly feel like a princess!

Some of you know I have been blessed with someone paying for me to get dentures.  Someone from my church donated the $5,000 it is costing to get all of the work done and tomorrow I go for the final step of the process.  As I was praying last night and thinking on all the things God has done for me, I just began to weep.  When God reached down and pulled me from my pit, I never dreamed of all the things He would begin to do in my life.  I have been blessed with Godly friends and revivals.  Prospects of a new home are just around the corner.  I am being restored physically.  I have two books waiting to be published and I know God has the provision for those right around the corner.

So many blessings I cannot count them!  I cannot pretend to say I know the answers to why God is blessing me, however, for sure it begins with faith.  When I began to truly trust in God to take care of my many needs, He started right in.  Yup, been low on finances in the last three years, yet I have not gone hungry or without a place to live or a car to drive.  I thought I was done at McDonalds  and then I was promoted.  So many different things in my life that God has just turned into blessings.  Even the fact of my husband being in jail is and act of God.

Surrendering it all is the key for me.  I just wake up in the morning, talk to God, give Him my day and watch Him work on my behalf.  Even today at work when a customer literally YELLED at me at the top of his lungs, I did not retaliate, I just pressed on knowing God had my back.  Someone in lobby even stood up for me and that was really awesome.  Six months ago I am not sure I would have handled that situation the same.  When I surrender my day to God, I just have this peace that passes all understanding and I know that whatever comes my way, God is in it!

So I might not blog for a bit, just depends on how I feel.  It is gonna take some getting used to and there might be more pain then when I just had a few teeth pulled.  Just know that I have not disappeared, I am just seeking God and keeping busy!  Be Blessed!!!