Tag Archives: plan

Smashing the Remote Control

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How many times in our lives have when been faced with things that we just did not plan on happening?  Sometimes it’s a car accident.  Maybe the loss of a job.  A loved one passes on.  A sickness comes out of nowhere. Something happens that just stops life as we know it.  Our day to day activities are either altered or come to a complete halt all together and it is out of our control.  Often we have no say in the situation and this rocks our boat to the point of capsizing.  When we are faced with the moment of understanding that we have no control we kinda freak out.

We have been holding on to the remote so tightly that our hands are tired and white knuckled.  We have shaken and moved this remote in every direction possible and it seems to have stopped working altogether.  When the frustration of the situation sets in we are ready to throw the remote as far as we can away from us begging God to take it.  This is the moment when the light bulb pops on suddenly and you have come to the realization you were never in control in the first place.  Never. Not from the time of your very conception.  When we come to our senses and see that we were created for His purposes and we did not birth ourselves we can finally rest.

This is where I reside right now.  I have come to a complete stop.  I have refused to look past today.  How long did it take me to get here?  A very long time.  Now, I am not one to  plan out every detail of my life ahead of time, however I do like to figure things out and sometimes that can be very overwhelming and tiring.  Let me show you what I am talking about.

Back in April I injured my back at work.  I tried to fix it by ignoring it and the pain just worsened.  Finally went to the doctor and that started a downward slide of medications and physical therapy only to arrive at the point where I needed surgery.  In November the surgery took place and I began the slow process of healing.  I was told I would be off work for 4 to 6 weeks and now its almost February and here I am still not back to work.  Why?  Because I am not the one in control.  It’s not easy for me to take time to rest and in these past several weeks I have spent a great deal of time resting and seeking God.  Every time I get myself prepared to go back to work, something else happens to delay it, not my choice, God’s.

So let’s throw a monkey wrench into this drama just for a bit of fun.  The plan 5 weeks ago was that I would return to work on February 8th after my 6 weeks of physical therapy but after a recent visit to my OBGYN I discovered I was in need of another surgery to remove come polyps on my cervix so I have to have a D & C.  Guess what day it’s scheduled for? The very day I was planning on returning to work..What???  God what are you doing?  I now have to call my boss and tell her that I will not be back as planned until the 9th. (provided I even could)  So for the last two weeks I have been dreading going back to work the day after a second surgery.

At church on Sunday night I shared my heart with the people who have been on this journey of recovery with me.  We have watched God move time and time again.  I had finally submitted that this was out of my hands.  As I had spent a solid week trying to figure out how I was going to feel and playing out the what-ifs and getting all worked up I prayed.  I surrendered.  I let it go.  I finally chose to live one day at a time without fear.  I began to believe that God would not leave me hanging or stranded without a plan.  A close friend confided in me that when she first heard I was having surgery she saw it like I was never going to give myself a rest and so God was going to put everything into motion for me, hence the surgery and the multiple extensions of my healing.

What happens when you give it up?  He moves.  He removes doubt.  He moves mountains.  He takes care of everything along the way.  He squashes fears.  He shows up and shows off.  Yesterday as I was preparing for our team meeting making a dish to pass I received a phone call from my doctors office and they were canceling my appointment for Wednesday and could not reschedule until February 15.  My first reaction was: WHAT? What are you doing God?  Now I have to call my employer and once again explain that I will not be returning until a later day.

Then, as if being covered in a blanket of peace, I hear Him saying, “Be Still and Know that I am God.  I am taking care of all things.  All of this is out of your control.”  And with that being said all of my anxiety left.  I no longer have to fear going back to work the day after surgery, God took care of it.  I don’t need to worry about my job, I am only following the doctors and I have no control over that.  God took all of the decision making out of my weary hands.  All I have to do is what is right in front of me.  I don’t need to figure out how my boss will react.  I don’t have to be consumed with figuring all of this out, I just need to be consumed with Him.

Dear Lord:

Thank You for being in control.  Thank You for filling me with peace.  I stand here surrendered to whatever Your  plan is knowing You will always make a way. Help me to stay here on Your promises.  Help me to accept that I am not in control.  I choose now to render whatever control I think I still have powerless.  Thank You for figuring out this life for me so that I can just rest in Your Presence.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

 

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Peek-A-Boo

Genesis 3:8

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
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Raise your hand…just do it now because I know it to be true…raise your hand if you have ever tried to hide from God.  I knew!  I am not the only one!  How many times have we been in this place where we think that we are okay and that God cannot see us?  It’s in those times when we think we have it all figured out.  It is when we are pretty sure we know better than God our situation and we are about to venture out on our own and do things our way.
I just have to laugh when I look back at all the times in my life that I thought for sure God could not see what I was doing.  I figured God has so much on His plate already that He will never notice if I just do this one thing over here out of His sight.  Silly me!  God knows where we are all the time because He cares.  Just like He knew Adam and Eve where in  the garden trying to hide from Him.  If only they would have just come into His presence they would not have felt the shame.
Our God is a loving Father.  He has no intentions of being mean or punishing us.  Yes there are consequences to our actions and some may be more intense depending on our own choices, however, God’s true heart is love.  I remember times in my life when I was afraid to tell my earthly father things that I had done because I knew how he would react, yet I knew that he loved me and did these things to protect me.  It is the same way with God, He loves us and He desires us to seek Him even if we are the ones who got ourselves into some sort of trouble.
Are you hiding right now in your life?  Where is the source of your fear?  Are you scared because of earthly fears about fathers?  If so I pray right now that God touches your heart and changes you from the inside out.  God in heaven is a loving, wonderful Father with only one desire in His heart, to see us prosper and be happy.  He has planned out this wonderful life for us and all we have to do is listen and obey and stop hiding from His goodness.

Ignore, Ignore, Ignore

Deuteronomy 5:24

They said, ‘Look, the Lord our God has shown us his glory and greatness, and we have heard His voice from the heart of the fire. Today we have seen that God can speak to us humans, and yet we live!
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Ignore! Ignore!  Ignore!  was often the chant I heard as my children were growing up.  They would have this disagreement and since they did not want to listen to what the other one was saying they would repeat this until the other person left or saw things their way.  How often do we do this in our walk with God?  Sometimes we think we have the better answer and we begin to ignore the voice of God trying to lead us in a different direction.  I know I have ignored God a few times yet He always seems to win so if only I would follow that still small voice in the first place, I might just get somewhere in this Christian walk the first time around instead of trudging around the mountain.
I think sometimes we just don’t like what God has to say and we go off doing our own thing.  Even when in our heads we know we are not in the will of God, we still seem to think we have the better idea for the situation.  Then, God has to take us through the lesson of disobedience and we have to stop and learn something before we can go any further in our walk.  When will we learn to stop and listen first and then move in what God has for us?
Sometimes in our rebellion we really make a wrong choice and it can set us back for years while other times it is a simple mistake and we can quickly get back to where we started from.  Thank goodness our God is a gracious and loving Father who only seeks to set us in the right direction so that we may achieve what He as for us.  All God wants is to see us flourish and go in the path He already designed for us, however our freewill often prevents us from hearing directly from God and can hinder our walk.
Have you ever ignored God?  Ever found yourself in the wrong direction only having to admit He was right all along?  Yup, that’s a tricky spot to be, yet our God is still there, waiting for our response to His calling.  I urge you to seek His face in prayer and begin to really listen for His still small voice to guide you back to His plan.  I am so glad I have learned to hear more clearly.  It as enabled me to stay on track and headed in the right direction, ultimately His goal for all of us.

Don’t Let It Die

Jeremiah 17:8
They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.

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Raise your hand if you have ever had a pity party for yourself.  Good now that hands are raised all over the place, this will be easier to write. God has created each of us with a purpose.  He has also commanded us to preach the Good News and have compassion towards others as we aspire daily to become more like His Son Jesus.  I myself have been struggling a bit these last few months as I have been adjusting to all of the changes in my life.  I have been divorced, fell in love all over again and become remarried….all because God decided what I needed in my life.  Well in this process I feel I have lost a bit of my purpose as a Christian writer.

I knew at the age of 5 when I wrote my first poem in kindergarten that I wanted to be a writer.  Not a journalist but a writer.  I loved words and had fun putting them together in an array of sentences to make some semblance of meaning on a page.  As I grew older I had a teacher who spoke life into my writing and I was hooked.  I wrote journals and poems and short stories.  As I moved forward in my ministry aspect of life, I began this blog and wrote two books, looking towards the life of becoming a published author and having a way to share my love for Jesus publicly.  I have since fell short of these goals in my life.  I have not blogged and the two books I have completed are sitting at the publishers waiting on me to locate financing to have them published.

I was really feeling low today and I prayed with my husband looking to God for solutions.  I surrender it all to God on the way to a revival meeting, knowing that I cannot do anything in my power to fix me. I surrendered the books and my blogs.  I surrendered myself as a writer and I asked God to show me the next steps to take.  Leave to our loving Father in heaven to send a message to a man of God to speak at the very end of the of the meeting with a word that spoke straight to my heart.  This man spoke of dying fruit.  He painted a word picture of a lonely grape still ripe on a vine among other wilted ones.  The moment I heard him speak I knew it was for me.  I felt that my usefulness as a Christian was dwindling and that I really did not matter to the purposes of the Kingdom work.

I went up for prayer and he spoke life into me.  Told be that God was turning things around.  I now have regained hope in this area of my life.  God has renewed my passion and I am ready to press in and move ahead.  No more accepting the lies of the devil.  I am ready to realize that I have more fruit to produce for the Kingdom and I say to each of you reading this blog, don’t let your fruit die.  You have a purpose.  God has given you a reason to be on this earth.  Do not be led into darkness away from your destiny or dreams by the lies Satan likes to feed us everyday.  Be strong in the Lord and in all your way acknowledge Him, trusting in His plan for your life.