Tag Archives: mistakes

Faith Zero

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[ Faith in What We Don’t See ] The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
Ever been so lost at sea that you are being tossed to and fro and lose all sense of where you are?  Ever been driving in a storm and lightening is flashing and thunder is crashing all around you and your body is on high alert of danger?  Ever gone to a new school and as all the unfamiliar faces gawk at you in curiosity you feel unwanted and unliked?  Well, this is what life is without faith.  Without faith nothing is possible.  Faith is how we get closer to God and it is the very substance that brings us into the presence of God.
When my faith was at zero I could not make heads or tails of my life.  I was standing in a dirt storm chocking on everything that hit me.  My eyes hurt because of the debris.  My lungs were working over time to catch up with the fear racing through my body.  I could not see God.  I could not see anything good in my life.  I felt doomed to die right where I had chosen to be.  Now that might sound a bit dramatic but when you get to the point in your life where you feel that you must fix all of your mistakes before God can change your life, that’s how it feels.
Empty. Exhausted. Alone. Depressed. I begin to seek God.  I wanted out of my mess.  I wanted to feel what life felt like again.  I longed to smile.  I longed to be carefree.  I had this burning desire within me to move beyond my past, yet I could not make sense of the broken, shattered heart laying before me.  Where do I even begin to let God into my mess?
With one teeny tiny seed of faith.  One moment of surrender on my lips.  One whispered sentence into the surrounding darkness, “I’m sorry Lord, please forgive me.”
My life has been dramatically changed in five short years because I chose to believe God was bigger than any mess I could have ever gotten myself into.  God is bigger than addictions.  God is bigger than abuse.  God is bigger than neglect.  God is bigger than shame.  God is bigger than sin.  God is bigger than regret.  God is bigger than pain.  God is bigger than any bad decision I ever made.
Today I can hold my head up and be thankful for my word of the year: FAITH.  I look forward now to what God can and will do in my life.  My marriage, children, job and christian walk are all in His hands and I just need to rest in the knowledge of who He is.  Yes. Rest.
Dear God,  I thank You and praise You for bringing me to such sweet freedom in knowing who You are.  I pray that You will keep me on track.  I long to Linger in Your sweet Presence.  Lord, I pray for those who are reading this today that they will begin to believe that You are bigger than anything in their life right now.  I pray all will find rest in You today.  Thank You for being bigger than life to us.
In Jesus Name.  Amen.
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Unthawed…..Take 2

2 Timothy 3:14-17

But don’t let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers—why, you took in the sacred Scriptures with your mother’s milk! There’s nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.
frozen3
Well, is my face red or what?  A dear friend of mine caught a mistake I made….did anyone else?  I titled my last blog, “Unthawed” and if you read it I talk about being frozen in time and such.  Well, my friend pointed out that unthawed means to refreeze.  Duh!  No wonder spell check did not like unthawed as a word……
So today I am here to say, “I am human.”  My intentions were right it was just my wording was a little off.  So my thought process was to delete the blog all together but upon rereading it, it was too good to do so even with the wrong word.  Besides, how many really noticed anyways?  So now, what is the point in even pointing this out to all of you?
Perhaps it’s to prove that sometimes we have an idea and we construct our own meaning and definition of what it means and then tell a story thinking we have it all figured out.  Or maybe I really thought I was right and doing things the right way and I needed someone to point to the fact that I went in the wrong direction.  How often in life do we need someone to point out our mistakes?  What if we just kept making the same mistake over and over again and no one ever said anything?  Where we would we eventually end up?
I could relate this to my past.  I was in a relationship that others could clearly see was unhealthy.  Yes, there were some who pointed out my mistakes, however, I was not willing to do anything about it…I just did the same thing over and over again without the results ever changing.  I don’t know what happened but at some point I actually listened and decided to change the error of my ways, much like I decided to do with this blog.  How come it happened so quickly this time?  One word:  maturity.
When make a mistake sometimes it’s easier to just keep making it even when others notice because we are afraid of anything different or we just don’t want to admit we are wrong.  As we grow and mature perhaps we learn that mistakes really are just a part of life and we grow when we decide to doing something different.  When we choose to throw our pride aside and choose to change we can grow in who we are as a person.   Admitting we made a mistake may not be easy but it comes with great rewards.

Rear View Mirror Addictions

1 Corinthians 13:3-7

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
letting go
Ever just wish you could get rid of your past like the seeds of a dandelion?  Do you find yourself obsessed with looking back at the past constantly with regrets?  How do we come to this place where we find peace…constant peace?  How can there even be such a thing as peace when we have made so many wrong turns and decisions?  Sometimes we just shake our heads in disbelief that we could be so stupid about things yet we show no desire to make any changes for the good.  We are stuck in an addiction of looking in that rear view mirror and have no answers as to how to stop the staring.
How are we defined as a person?  Do new people meeting us judge us for our past?  NO, of course not, they don’t even know us, so why do we even bring the subject up?  When we come to the realization that Jesus is the answer to every single problem we encounter, we can begin to deal with our past and see it for what it is…the past.  The dictionary describes the past as :

PAST (adjective) 1.gone by or elapsed in time: It was a bad time, but it’s all past now.

 

Gone. Do you see it?  It is gone, finished..can’t go back and change a thing, so why are we staring at it like we could do something different?  I know for me, letting go of the past was not an easy thing to do, in fact it took me three years of Jesus time to get through my detox from the past.  I spent several days of my life blaming myself for all of the disaster that had occurred in my life time.  Bad choices.  Mistake judgments.  Wrong answers.  I felt like I was the reason my husband was the way he was.  I thought I caused him to turn to drugs and alcohol to ease his pains and agony with life.  I felt I was the reason I had no true love in my life.  All lies of the enemy.

 

So what is the solution?  Jesus.  Take your past and pretend it’s on the end of a dandelion stem and blow!  Blow all the lies away.  Scatter the past in a million directions and begin to live life to it’s fullest.  Choose to stop staring at the rear view mirror as if things are going to change.  Learn from the past but stop taking it with you. Choose today not to be addicted to your past.  Remember, it’s not going to change.  Choose today to follow after Jesus and be at peace knowing you have walked through fire and survived!