Tag Archives: loved

Treasurable Love

101a

Today my life is good.  The heart ache is gone and has been replaced with pure, treasurable love.  My life once again has purpose and meaning.  I finally feel like I have been placed on the right path which will propel me into my destiny.  Life has not always been easy and even now there are steps I still am hesitant to take.  I have come to this place where I trust God and I go where He says to go.  Like Jesus mirrored in His ministry, he only did what He saw the Father doing, anything else would have been man’s doing,

How did I get from point A to point B without losing myself?  I am not sure except there came this one day when my life was crashing all around me and I chose to stop running.  It’s hard to wrap my mind around some of the things God calls us to do, and often they make absolutely no sense to the human thought process, yet I know beyond the shadow of a doubt it’s the way of God working in my life.

What caused me to write today about treasure? My husband.  He left yesterday for a 2 day road trip.  For most married couples that is no big deal, in fact often welcomed.  Not me.  Within the hour of him leaving I felt a loss.  Not that I can’t be without him, I didn’t WANT to be without him.  My husband is not what I asked for at all.  I really had no choice when he dropped onto the radar of my life.  For you see, I had this in-depth conversation with God in which I clearly stated that I did not want another man in my life after my divorce.  Sometimes I am glad God does not listen to our pleas only because He has something so much better to offer us.

When John came in to my life I was broken.  My heart had been shattered into a bazillion pieces and I had no desire to put them back together or be loved again, BUT God softened my heart.  He renewed my thinking.  As He did this, John became a true treasure in my life.  The more I tried to say I did not deserve his love, the more God moved.  Now, I would not trade my husband for anything in the world because I know how much he means to me and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt this is God’s plan for my life.

So what is your treasure?  Is there something God has given to you that perhaps you did not understand?  I encourage you to seek God for what your treausrable love is.  Sometimes His ways do not make sense to us, but He is our loving Father and He desires to give us the best of everything.  My best gift was love.  The love of my children.  The love of my husband.  The love of dear friends.  And most importantly the love of God which He has poured into my life even in the moments where I felt less than deserving of anything.  Be still right now and KNOW that God is at work on your behalf and He will never leave you or forsake you.

mytreasure

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Bubbled Up

Ephesians 4:20-24

But that’s no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It’s rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.
rest2
Yesterday we talked about rest.  Did anyone answer the question I posed?  Are we really resting IN Him everyday?  Do we really trust that He will take care of everything in our day?  When we accept Jesus to be our savior, we invite Him IN.  He comes into our heart and RESIDES.  He then begins a good and perfect work right there in our own bodies.  He starts renewing our minds, rejuvenating our souls and sending healing to our bodies.  Why are we unable to grasp that from the moment we accept Him, He accepts us right where we are and He never leaves us on our own again?
I think one of the hindrances to us moving forward in God is our own vision of who we are.  We know where we came from. We know our secret sins.  We know our past, but guess what? So does Jesus and He still remains in love with us from the moment we said YES!  It never changes.  He never goes away!  Why have we lost hope in US????
When will we stop and let Jesus refresh us?  When will we allow Him to actually push that RESET button?  We are no longer the person we were the moment we say yes to the open arms of Jesus.  I don’t care who you were, it is who you are IN Jesus that matters now.  Will you choose to accept this?  Stop looking down at your old self from a pedestal of condemnation.  I could pull out some verses to prove my point but it would take up all the words I have to use in this blog frame and you would stop reading…..
It is time to get with real with Jesus and decide once and for all that YOU MATTER.  You matter to God.  You matter to the body of Christ.  You matter!!!  You matter!!  You matter!! You are of value.  You have worth!!  You are important.  Stop dwelling on who you were and look forward to the new creation you are being made in Jesus.
I want you right now to take a deep breath!  Go ahead, a slow deep breath.  Close your eyes.  Now envision Jesus standing right before you.  Be refreshed.  Be renewed.  Be You!!!
Now, this is the hard part….let Jesus push that rest button.  Go ahead.  I triple dog dare any of you who think it’s not worth it!    Now lastly, believe that you have been reset, refreshed and renewed!!
My desire for any one reading these blogs is that you come to find yourself IN Jesus.  It does not matter what the world has to say about you, it only matters what Jesus is doing on the inside.  We cannot come to fully love anyone else until we love who we are IN Christ.  Today take time to be refreshed.  Inhale, exhale, repeat..OFTEN!

Being Loved Back Together

Psalm 33:22
Let Your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in You alone.

Psalm 36:10
Pour out Your unfailing love on those who love You; give justice to those with honest hearts.

Three years ago I was sitting in a hospital room on my daughter’s 15th birthday watching my husband of 17 years cling to every heartbeat.  As I watched him labor for his next breath, I was consumed with this overwhelming need for a rescue.  I had been married to a drug addict for way too long.  I had married this man under the assumption that I could “fix” his drinking problem.  I was going to end up with the best husband ever when I was done “fixing” him.  How could I have become so deceived?  Want to know why?  Because I needed love and a way out of my house.  Because I was eager to start a family and have the “perfect” American lifestyle.  Because I was so broken already before I even entered the actual marriage that I could not see how crazy it was of me to think I could “fix” anything in another human being.

Now I stand in awe at what God has brought into my life.  I will try to make a long story short, and give just a few details.  About 3 months ago while I was on vacation, I began to cry out to God about my marriage.  I had been standing, waiting and praying for over three years for my husband to do three things:  Find God in his life, get a job and keep it and lastly to be drug and alcohol free.  These were the three things I required before I could even consider counseling or the idea of rebuilding our very broken marriage.  During those three years we had no contact…no phone calls or visits.  God had us separated for His purposes.  In that three years nothing changed, in fact he is now facing prison time.

After he showed up drunk to my daughter’s open house in August, I really began to seek God for answers.  What am I waiting for?  When will he find his way back to God?  Will my marriage ever be restored?  As I was blasting all of these questions at God, I heard Him clearly say, “I promised you the restoration of your family, not your marriage.”  Stopped me dead in my tracks.  What did He just say?  In the next few moments I felt a release come over me and I felt in my heart of hearts that I had been released to divorce.  Now this is where I stand in awe of God and how He works.  It is not for us to figure out, but for us to receive and trust in Him and not question His ways for He has already planned and purposed out our lives.

About a year ago I met a man, John, who spoke into my son’s life, I remember telling him that He was the one who would bring my son back to God at some point.  I only saw John a handful of times over the course of a year, just at church and then finally at recent revival meetings.  We became friends and that was all I ever saw in our relationship, nothing more.  One night at a revival meeting someone approached us and asked if we were “an item” and we just laughed at such a strange question.  As a joke, John asked me out to dinner and before my flesh could say no, I blurted out yes.

Over dinner I shared my life story, something I had yet to do. Then we walked a nearby pier and he shared his story.  Then out of nowhere we began to minster to someone on the pier and God showed us a ministry right in front of us.  On the way back to the cars, we got so lost in God we found ourselves laughing and laying on the cement pier at 11 pm at night.  God did something to change our hearts in that moment of time and now, here we are three months later so in love and walking in what God has laid out for us.  On September 2, 2012 John asked for my hand in marriage and I said, Yes.  We are getting married on December 7th at revival and I have never been happier or filled with so much peace.

I do, however, need to make this very clear.  Yes, I know the divorce will not be final until November 13th and some may not see this relationship as being Biblically right, however, we both have been seeking God over this situation.  For the first two weeks of the relationship we gave God our emotions and begged Him to separate us before we got any further involved if this was not of Him.  Neither of us desired to be hurt and we both wanted our relationship to fully rest on God and His will for our lives.  Now here we are three months later and I have been loved back together by a man who has put God first in his life before everything else and is doing his best to love me like I should be loved.

Neither of us take any credit for our finding each other.  I in fact had sworn of men in my life after what I had been through, but God in His unyielding love saw to it to give me what a needed before I got what I wanted.  Once I realized God had given me exactly what I needed, I was able to receive that a God centered relationship was exactly what I did want.  Now I stand in complete openness with my friends and family.  I am covered by the grace of God and I am safe in His arms.  John and I are seeking God more and more every day and I am now in a place where I am willing to be loved back together so that I can truly be who I was designed to be by God.

No Matter What, He’s Gonna Love You

1 Corinthians 13:7
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Got sin?  Feel like you fall short?  Perhaps you think you just don’t measure up? Maybe you are riddled with guilt? Or you just are not feeling worthy of any love at all.  You look in the mirror and all you see is brokenness  and despair.  You want to run as far as you can in the opposite direction from God because you feel the emptiness begin to creep in and you have no idea where you are going next.  You want to fix your life and THEN get right with God.  You want to mend all the broken parts of you before you go to the Father and “make things right”.  You want to go back and correct ALL of the dumb mistakes you made so that God will see you as whole and ready to seek Him for your destiny.  Guess who I just described? Yup!  Me.

This is how I felt not long ago.  As I was dealing with a lifeless marriage and going nowhere in my walk with God, I was feeling so lost and not worthy of love in any shape or form.  I felt like I needed to fix all of the mistakes I had made before I could even go before God and ask for forgiveness.  Ten years I walked without acknowledging God was even in my life. Ten long years of doing it on my own, not seeking His wisdom or direction all because I felt  I had made some really dumb choices for my life and until I worked all of these things out, I was stuck and unworthy of His grace.

In the midst of all of my brokenness, God just reached down one day and scooped me into His arms and began to love me back together.  I was unwilling at first as I sat in a hospital room watching my overdosed husband fighting for his life.  In that brief moment, He asked me if I was ready to be loved again.  Surprisingly I did not hesitate.  I had been doing everything on my own for so long, I was ready to give up.  I was ready to surrender. I was ready to be whole again.  How long had God been standing beside me waiting for me to get to this place in my life so that He could show me how much He truly loved me?  From the moment I drifted, He stood closer.  The more I beat myself up, the more He loved me.  Every time I screamed out in agony, He longed to pick me up and hold me close.

Now as I stand on the brink of my entire life changing I am seeking God more than ever and as I do this, He releases me and sets me free.  I have been waiting for my husband for three years, waiting for him to be renewed and find God.  I simple wanted him to be healed from his addictions so that he could love again.  I wanted  him whole so that he could see God in his life.  I wanted so badly for him to cease from being in constant pain and agony.  I wanted him to feel worthy of God’s love so that our marriage could be repaired.  I prayed and I stood in silence, waiting, until  6 weeks ago when God released me to divorce.

I spent two days wrestling with God.  I surrendered my emotions over and over again.  I prayed continuously for direction and answers.  I asked God to show me what was going on and clear as day I heard Him tell me that He had promised me the restoration of my family, not the restoration of my marriage and in that very moment I felt the release from my marriage.  I knew in my heart of hearts I had done my best and now the rest was up to God.

Now as I stand here in surrender.  I am more free than I have ever been. I have found more peace than I have ever dreamed possible.  I feel whole.  I feel worthy.  I feel loved.  I can look in the mirror now and no longer see the past that was holding me back from accepting the love of God in my life.  I now know without a shadow of a doubt that God’s love is unconditional and He is going to love me no matter how far I get of track.  When I find myself in moments of doubt I just pause to reflect on what God rescued me from and I  look forward to what lies ahead knowing He will love through it all.

Accepting the Flaws

Colossians 1:22
Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.

Wow, when God tries to rearrange our lives what is the first thing that sticks out like a sore thumb?  Our flaws.  Every single one of our insecurities come to the surface and we have to decide if we are going to run a hundred miles in the opposite direction or stand in awe of God as He makes the corrections in our lives.  So many times we stop at the seeing the flaws, shrug our shoulders and give up when all God wants to do is heal us from the pain and redirect and rearrange our paths.

Why do we find it so hard to give it all to God and allow Him to complete a good work in our hearts, minds and souls?  What the heck are we hanging on to?  Pain? Grief? Unbelief?  Self-doubt?  Unworthiness?  Self-Pity?  Immorality? Fear?  Judgement? I could list a hundred different things and we all could fit it in somewhere in our lives.  Don’t we believe that our God is bigger than all of these tiny little things which hinder us from freely loving a God who is our Father?

How many times do we look in the mirror and we see every single flaw there is and we start speaking death over our own selves?  This is exactly where Satan desires us to reside.  Why?  It hinders our ability to move forward in the things of God.  How many times a day do we say that we are not good enough at something or I can’t do this or that or I am not deserving?  I challenge each of us to take a count tomorrow of how many negative, broken things we say to ourselves in one days time.  I am tired of God’s people not claiming who they are in Christ.

We are holy and blameless before the throne of God and we need to start claiming this royalty for our lives.  We are children of the Most High God and we are worthy.  We are accepted.  We are loved.  We are beautiful.  We are able.  We are wanted.  I really don’t understand why my heart aches for this, but God had recently shown me to surrender and in this surrender I have learned to let go.  Insecurities are just these bubbles that float around our head in need of popping.  It is time to start popping them one by one until we can clearly see who we are in Christ.

There is no going back for this chick.  I have moved on and I am moving forward as God leads me.  No longer will I look in the mirror and see my flaws for I am fearfully and wonderfully made and this my friends comes straight from God.  If God accepts me with all of my flaws, then so should I because before I can love anyone else, I need to love myself…..my whole self, no just the parts I like the most.  I pray each of you begin to see yourselves as holy and blameless and begin to accept what God is trying to speak into your life:

You ARE holy.  You ARE blameless.  You ARE worthy.  You ARE wanted.  You ARE loved.  You ARE His child.  You ARE pure.  You ARE lovely.  You ARE beautiful.  You ARE desired.  You ARE provided for.  You ARE His Beloved Daughter.  You ARE His Beloved Son.

Dented Can Syndrome

Galatians 6:15
It doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation.

Ever feel like you just keep getting “passed over”?  Like you are damaged goods?  Maybe you think you are so dinged up it is not worth getting off the shelf to do anything.  Perhaps you did not get the latest promotion or invited to the latest party.  Maybe friends left you out of an outing.  When you feel “dented” you feel no self-worth.  You feel dusty and out of the loop because no one is choosing you.  You want so desperately to get down of the shelf and move about to feel useful but the dented thinking is holding you back.  What if you just sat there for days and no one even gave you a second look?  Perhaps they pick you up and speak to you as if you cannot hear them, “My goodness! What happened to this one?” and then putting back on the shelf hoping someone else will take care of it.  This is what happens when life hurts.  When we get dropped and pushed or shoved and stomped on.  When we get “labeled” and it rips and people see who we really are and all of sudden they don’t like us so much anymore.  What they fail to see is that there is still something on the inside.

Whatever it might be, these feelings of inadequacy are just lies of the devil.  I am here to tell you that God thinks you are beautiful, adequate, worthy, whole, complete and undamaged.  To God you are like the rose still on the vine in full bloom because He sees you for who He desires you to become.  It does matter what your label looks like or what your outer looks say about you; what matters is what is on the inside.  If you are carrying Jesus on the inside and you know who you are in Christ then it matters not what the outside world is buying because you are already bought and paid for with the blood of Jesus Christ who died on a cross because He loved you that much!  So start to shake the label off.  Stand up straight and claim your victory today!  Stop sitting on the shelf looking all damaged, get out there and be who God created you to be.

Begin to let people see who you really are and pay no attention to their remarks, only listen to the voice of God. For you see, in the end it will be you and ONLY you face to face with God.  No one will be there to judge you or point out your flaws or label you or even declare that you are damaged goods.  No, God will see you as His son or daughter and based on how YOU reacted and carried His Son with you He will tell you how proud He is of you.  God is the only one who can pass judgement on anyone and yet we just seem to take it all in here on earth and accept it as truth when others judge us.  Yup!  I am sure there are some who think I am positively nuts with the things I put on my van windows, do I care? Nope, I am sharing LIFE with those around me. Matter of fact I was at work today and a customer made me come back to the drive thru window so he could see me face to face to tell me how awesome my van was!

I encourage you today to stop seeing yourself as damaged goods.  You are made whole the moment you accept Jesus into your heart.  You are worthy.  You are Loved.  You are accepted.  You are chosen by God to be His child.  Take a moment and soak all of that in. Close your eyes and really see yourself for a moment like God does.  Okay, now SMILE! Repeat after me:

God Loves Me just as I am! (I can’t hear you) God Loves Me just as I am!

I AM Accepted and Loved, the labels are meaningless! (go ahead, say it)

I am a New Creation in Christ and from this day forward I will stop listening to the lies!

Feel better?  I hope so.  It is time for the Bride of Christ to burn off the labels and see ourselves as WHOLE and UNDENTED, perfect in the eyes of our Maker.  Are you ready to rip of those labels?

Line Drawn

Revelation 21:2
And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

Sand between my toes

Determination in my steps

Headed for the shoreline

Ready to make my stand

Making a line in the sand

Leaving the garbage behind

Choosing renewed life

Accepted by God

Taking back who I am to be

Making a line, to redefine me

God created me

Just as I am

No need to change

He loves me just like this

Making a line, not a wish

Captured by the allure

Believing the lies

Led so far astray

No more listening to the devil

Making a line, putting me on a new level

My strength will rise

My creator confidence will flourish

I will always and forever

Linger in the joy of love

Making a line, giving Satan a shove!

From this moment onward

I will accept me for who I am

I will rejoice in my awkwardness

I will laugh at my silly behavior

Making a line, never again to wavier.

The water will rise

The winds will blow

The line in the sand will be erased

But only by the world, not by God

Making a line, for He has given me the rod.

I have chosen life

Death does not become me

I am free to move about

Free to push onward without pain

Making a line, for it is my gain.

I am beautiful

I am accepted

I am loved

I am who I was created to be

Line drawn.

Brenda Welc

3/24/2012