Tag Archives: love

A Fortune Cookie with No Fortune

10556468_10206694921430394_7142809108992380070_nI

 

As I was sitting here on New Years Day 2016 contemplating what God wanted me to share, I was feasting on some fortune cookies left over from our latest take out meal.  As I opened my second cookie I was surprised to find no little paper with some words of wisdom printed on it.  Now, not that I follow any of these fortunes but it’s still fun to read them and sometimes I have to admit, they line up with something which is happening in my life at the moment.  So I guess God is leading me today to share about empty expectations.

Did we get all we expected out of the last year?  I know for one I had some ups and downs but I have to say for me personally I did not get done what I had expected to do.  I wanted to get started on book number four and be in the publishing stage at this point.  Two things have prevented me from accomplishing this:  self-motivation and no computer with a word processor on it.

I recently had back surgery and I had clearly heard the Lord say to me as I was facing this that I was to rest and write.  Okay, great I thought to myself, God is giving me the opportunity to rest and write, then after surgery things were tougher than expected and sitting up was not my friend.  So I decided to rest and that maybe it was a two part ordeal.  I rested and then I realized my six weeks was almost up and I had not even typed out one word in the new book.

After seeing the physician for my post-op visit I was told that I would head off to physical therapy and could not return to work until it was completed…this meant 6 more weeks off.  With six more weeks ahead of me,  I decided to get serious about my writing only to discover that the laptop I had been borrowing did not have a word program and neither did the new laptop my hubby bought for me for Christmas.  Now what I asked God?

I felt like I was stuck behind a task I had been assigned with no means to accomplish it.  A friend suggested that I hand write the book but that’s too hard to do and keep up with the words which begin to flow.  Another friend said I should speak my book into a microphone on my phone but that just got too complicated because it’s not the way I am gifted to write.

So here I am with a book idea, expecting to write and I can’t.  So I sit here feeling guilty and disobedient to God.  The devil has a field day sometimes condemning me and making me feel worthless and lazy, like I am wasting my gift.  What is happening in your life that the devil is trying to beat you over the head with or make you feel guilty?  Some days I fear that God will take my writing from me but I know that’s a lie.  The devil can turn any promise from God into a lie if we allow ourselves to submit to fear.

This is what I hear God saying:  Whatever you expected from last year, just let it go.  It’s a new year.  A new beginning.  Choose to renounce the lies and see yourself as I do.  You are my beloved.  You are loved.  You are accepted.  I will not take things away from you, it is not My nature.  Believe that I only want your love and obedience.  I only desire a true relationship with you.  Come, talk to Me. Abide in Me.  You are never too far away to come back home.  Choose today to start again.  

Dear Lord, help me today to see me as You do.  Teach me to hear only Your voice and to rise up against the lies of fear.  I thank You that You are here with me everyday to guide me and teach me.  I thank You for sticking with me even when I seem to running in the wrong direction.  I know that You  have great plans for my life because Your Word promises that to me. I love you Lord!  Amen

A Safe Hiding Spot

IMG_6591a

Some days I just want to play a good game of hide and seek and never be found.  The demands of life sometimes can weigh a person down to the point when everything seems to be like a tornado rather than victorious living.  Day after day of work going the wrong direction or employees who just don’t understand the value of what we do.  Everyday normalcies like eating and sleeping and bathing.  Checking in on family and friends.  Reorganizing the house.  Mowing the grass.  Going to the store for supplies.  Sigh!  The list is ginormous!!!

Can I just rest?  Can I just lay here and breathe?  Perhaps I can just be like a chameleon, so that I can just blend in and no one sees me for a minute.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love life, but there are times when disconnecting is the best thing I can do:  no phone, no computer…no point of contact.  Just a moment or two with no commitments. Just enough time to rest and re-energize.

These are the times when I know I can climb in my Daddy’s lap and rest.  Times when He is calling me to Him.  Moments of my day when I can just stop and appreciate that He loves me no matter what and He is taking care of all the things of my day.  I remember as a kid climbing up on the couch next to my dad and feeling so safe, so loved, so comfortable…it is the same with God.

Tonight as I was driving home from a meeting I was being wooed by God Himself.  I live within minutes of beautiful Lake Michigan and I was driving the opposite direction to go home and first the cloud structures caught my eye in my mirrors.  Then I began to see streams of color.  For a minute I was going to turn around but it has been a long day and home was calling my name, then the whole view in my mirror got so intense I could no longer ignore it.

As I found a place to change directions I was thinking several things:  I am tired, its getting dark, I am low on gas.  I will miss the sunset anyways.  These thoughts were quietly interrupted by these simple words, “But I just want to show you something.  I long to spend time with you.”  I knew in that moment God was calling me into His lap, so I turned up my worship music and headed towards the lake in search of my surprise.

I did not get far when a deer appeared on the side of the road just as if it was waiting for me to see it before he ran off.  God knows how excited I get when I see deer.  I turn into a five year old on their first visit to the zoo!  As I continued on my journey I saw five more deer who were just standing there long enough for my to take a few photos.  I was pretty excited at what God was showing me.

I arrived at the shores of Lake Michigan just in time to see a thin red line spread across the top of the water, I had missed the sunset, but what I got to see was so much better!  I got to spend some quality quiet time with my Daddy and it was amazing.

 As I drove past the lake the waves were violently crashing as a storm had just gone through and God said, “I will protect you from the crashing of waves and so much more.  Stay with Me here and nothing will touch you.”

Prayer:  Dear Lord, Thank you for the time we get to spend together.  Help me to seek you more rather than hiding from You.  Allow me to feel Your peace all around me.  Allow me to we wooed by You.  Let me be content in the small things you show me.  I love you Lord and the attention to detail You provide in my life.  Thank You for loving me.  Thank You for keeping me safe.  In Jesus Name  AMEN.

Orphan, sister to Rejection

Ephesians 1:5-6 [Full Chapter]

[ The God of Glory ] How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.
rewritten
This is a story about a young woman who became pregnant at a very early age from a circumstance out of her control.  As the issue of pregnancy was brought out into the open along came with it several thoughts: fear, abortion, uncertainty, turmoil, distress, rejection, abandonment and probably many emotions.  How was she going to raise a baby when she herself was still a child?  How would she be able to afford it?  Would she even know what to do when the baby cried?  As the mother went through all of these thought processes, little did she so know so did the infant being created in her womb. Fear, doubt, rejection, unworthiness:  all off these contribute to the orphan state of mind.  
I am a product of an unwed mother.  I was given up for adoption and raised with parents who were not my own.  I never knew why I struggled with rejection my entire life until about 6 years ago when I began to go through stages of deliverance.  I always felt like the odd man out.  Never really fit in.  Had thoughts that I was never good enough.  My adoptive parents always told me I was adopted and that they always wanted me but it never felt real to me.  Instead I thought I was a throw away, my real mom didn’t want me because I was defective for some reason.(having met my real mom, there is no truth to this thought)  Rejection had a stronghold on me and it really didn’t want to let go, however through pray and surrender I was able to overcome the rejection status in my life.  I became more confident in who I was and began to heal.  Overcoming rejection allowed me to write books and get them published.  Overcoming rejection allowed me to remarry a man again and lead a successful life.  So why am I writing about orphans today?
Because, last night at church someone prayed over me and said, “You are wanted.  You are not an orphan.  You were meant to be born, abortion was never the answer.”  What did that do to my spirit?  I cried.  The pain was unbearable.  I did not even realize I was holding onto this, I thought it went when I overcame rejection.  I was perplexed and grieving at the same time.  How had the enemy held me in bondage for 45 years?
How many of you struggle with rejection and the feeling of being an orphan?  I bet there are many.  Well, I am here today to tell you that you are not rejected.  You are not an orphan.  God has created you for a plan and a purpose and you are not a mistake.  He loves you and has accepted you as His own son or daughter.  He delights in seeing you everyday.  Though the world may be cruel and mean, He longs to protect you from all of that.  He invites you into His presence.  He is willing to listen.  He is waiting for you to surrender the pain of rejection and abandonment so that He can heal you from it.
You don’t have to be adopted to feel rejection and abandonment so this message is for everyone.  I encourage you to take a moment right now and let it all go.  If you have to cry then cry.  If you have to scream then scream.  Do what ever it takes to give this ugliness to God.  Your freedom is right around the corner.  

The Darkness of the Cocoon (a continuation)

Lighta

 

“So it’s time to enter into darkness,” says no one ever!  As seekers of a Christ centered life we are compelled to search for the light to be filled with holiness and purity as Christ was.  No one desires to be left in darkness.  Not one of us with a right mind want to continue on in the state we are in, it’s only when darkness broods in our lives that our thought processes become tainted.  We walk around with our caterpillar mentality thinking that we will never change.  No one notices me.  I will always be in this state of mind.  I am just ordinary and have no purpose so I will just walk around in circles until I die.

I am hear right now speaking life!  I am speaking light!  I am speaking into the heart of darkness and saying, “Let there be Light!”  My heart breaks that so many people are in the bondage of the caterpillar stage of life.  In my first marriage I always hoped things would change, I never did anything to actually change it.  God had to wait until I was desperate enough to want out.  He had to wait until I desired something different.  He had to be patient enough to wait until I was ready to enter into the cocoon where transformation could begin.

Now this may sound like we are going backwards, but bear with me.  We are born into this world and like I said in the previous blog, we begin to eat up everything of this world, it’s like we don’t know anything different.  Then one day, we have an encounter with God and we begin the healing process.  We begin to believe that we have a purpose and that we are worthy of love.  We start to look in the mirror and see that change is happening.  We suddenly decide that change needs to continue and we surrender what we know as life to God and He begins the process.

We enter into a stage that I am calling the cocoon stage only because this is where the darkest things in our life are revealed, transformed and changed.  It is in the cocoon stage that we are hidden in a darkness not like the worlds but we are hidden by God.  We are protected from the influences of the outside carnal world.  We reside in a place where only God can touch us and transform our thinking.  He turns the “I ain’t good enough”  into “I have worth”.  He takes the “I am ugly” and changes it to “I am beautiful”.  He takes the “I can’t” and molds it into “I can do all things through Christ!”.

Most importantly He takes our lifeless flesh bodies and turns them into wings of life and freedom.  When we emerge from the cocoon at the end of the process we emerge whole and full of life.  We no longer desire to eat of the world but we desire to drink in the goodness of God.

Are you tired of eating the garbage of the world?  Do you have a desire to change?  Do you want to be free?  Happy? Joyful? Content?  Then it’s time to enter the cocoon.  It’s time for you to allow God to penetrate you to the core with His love, mercy and grace.  Don’t be fooled by the devil into thinking that you are not worth the time it takes to change because you are.  Others are waiting for your transformation process so that they too can witness the loving kindness of God.

Like Toothpaste

 

And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.
waterspiget
So what is it like to empty yourself out and let God have free reign in your life?  It means that you allow God to go into the deepest inter most parts of yourself and let Him do a good and thorough healing.  It means being willing to do what it takes to be an over-comer.  It also means running the race until the end knowing that at the finish line there is a greater freedom than you have ever known before.
During this process it starts with a self examination of who you are.  You begin to assess your current situation and make a decision if it is time to let God have a peek into your mess.  Questions to ask yourself:
” Am I ready to let go?”
“Am I ready to trust God with this issue in my life?”
“Am I willing to trust and obey whatever God says needs to happen?”
Once you have said yes to all of these questions then it is time to step out in faith and let God do a mighty work in your life.  It will be difficult in some situations because we feel that we need to fix our own issues before we can even go to God for help.  This is a lie from the enemy to keep us standing in stagnant waters.  Choose to let God in and watch what He does.
As the process of overcoming begins it will be gentle at first.  God will deal with the easy pieces before He gets to the center of things, kind of like a jigsaw puzzle, you get the outer edges put together first and then you fill in the rest.  As the pieces of restoration start coming together into a masterful work of art, it gets tougher to find the right pieces and put the puzzle together but you can’t give up, keep letting God do the work.
Towards the end of the process you will feel as though you were a tube of toothpaste and God is squeezing every last bit of wrong thinking, disbelief, unforgiveness, self-hate, doubts and misbehaving out of you.  You will feel so empty that it hurts, and then God begins to fill you up with the truth of His love and grace.  As He begins to pour into you, a sense of completeness and peace begins to fill you.  All of a sudden you see the whole beautiful picture and you fall to your knees with praise for God.
I admit, not an easy process when you choose to let God have full reign in areas of your life but it is so worth it, especially when we come to the realization that we have nothing to do with it, it’s all God:

Ephesians 2 The Message (MSG)

He Tore Down the Wall

1-6 It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn’t know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.

So be willing to be squeezed out and refilled with the precious love of Jesus.  From our bellies will flow rivers of living water.  Once we are right with God and have allowed Him to heal our wounds, what a benefit we will be to those who are hurting and in need of a Savior!

A Tiny Key

Jesus said, “Today is salvation day in this home! Here he is: Zacchaeus, son of Abraham! For the Son of Man came to find and restore the lost.”
restoration
I cannot pretend to understand the love between a father and son, as I am a mother, however I can comprehend love.  It would stand to reason that when a father sees his son for the first time it brings upon the man a flood of emotions.  Suddenly here is this child dependent upon him for love, attention and guidance as he grows up.  Maybe for some it seems like the most impossible task, only because of how they view who they are.  All I know is that a father’s love is not only needed but it is strong desire in each of as we learn and grow into the things of this world and its relationships.
Tragedy can strike any time.  Separations happen.  Divorce is ugly.  Love can be tainted.  Relationships can be torn.  Life can throw a multitude of failures at us.  Yet, we push through.  We survive the jungle of lies and traps as we grow closer into a relationship with God.  For those who have been raised without a father in their lives, no matter the circumstances, they may have a distorted picture of who God really is. Depending on the picture our fathers painted in our lives, we may see God as angry or distant or too busy or unloving or uncaring or just not there.  Some may feel abandoned or unwanted.  Others may feel rejected and misunderstood.  There is a multitude of different ways to see God, and many of the perceptions of the broken among us is wrong.
Today, right before my eyes I witnessed God in His most elaborate form, fatherly love.  My husband crossed a bridge to a whole new level of God in the matter of minutes.  Being reunited with his father after several years of absence and false emotions, I saw the love a father has for his son brimming in the eyes of a very broken man.  I do not have all the details of the past, but today was what was relevant.  In a moment of pure forgiveness, God melted the hearts of two men and has begun a restoration in them both.  For my husband it was seeing God in a whole new light as a loving, caring Father who has hopes and dreams for His beloved children.  For John’s dad, hope was restored,along with a good dose of acceptance.
Healing has begun.  In just one moment of time, forgiveness, a tiny key, opened a doorway to new love.  A doorway down a path of restoration and new revelation.  Our God is a God of restoration.  I do not have enough words to describe the restoration process in my life, let alone what He is doing in my husbands’ life.  I encourage you to spend some time with God and seek Him and His love.  Let Him reveal Himself to you as the loving Father that He is.  If you think God is mad at you for your failures, you are wrong.  If you think He can’t possible love you, you have a misconception about Him.  If you think you have to fix everything in your life before you can return to Him, the devil has you deceived.  Choose right now to see Him in a different light.  Let go of the hurt.  Forgive yourself.  See Him for the love He has for you.  It’s not too late.  He is waiting for you.