Tag Archives: hopeless

Ostrich Syndrome

The enemy hunted me down; he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life. He put me in a black hole, buried me like a corpse in that dungeon. I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away, my heart heavy, like lead. I remembered the old days, went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked, Stretched out my hands to you, as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
Ever just dealt with something over and over again.  You do everything in your power to fix it and make it work.  You have exhausted every bit of you into the situation with the same results..no change.  What about those situations that come at you so quickly the only reaction you have is to go ostrich and bury your head?  When this happens you are just praying it will go away and quickly.  If you can’t see it, it can not affect you.
I call this the Ostrich Syndrome.  The ability to bury your head in the sand and pretend as if you cannot be seen.  Can you just picture this in your mind?  Even if we bury our heads the rest of our body is open for attack, in fact you would be in for a more fatal blow from the enemy at this point.  When we just bury our senses so to speak so that we don’t have to taste, smell, see or hear our enemies we are still open to him touching us.
A good example of this is when I was in my past marriage I often closed my eyes and hoped it would all just go away.  I no longer wanted to hear the screaming or taste the tears.  I didn’t want to see the pain in my children or smell the rottenness of the mess I had gotten myself into.  There were days when I would just bury my head and pretend I was free from the attacks.  It never worked.  I still felt the stings from the enemy.  My ex-husband still drank. Still smoked. Still searched daily for  his next fix.  Meanwhile with my head in the sand I was oblivious to what was really going on around me.
My children were hurting.  My heart was breaking.  I was slowly being erased by the enemy.  My life no longer mattered.  I wanted to just run away but I couldn’t because my head was buried in the sand. While I still had my head in tact, the rest of me was being attacked by the enemy.  I no longer cared what I looked like.  I had lost all hope in ever having a life.  The enemy had me exactly where he wanted me…buried..oblivious to what was happening..dead to life…hopeless.
Then one day I lifted my head and began to see what was happening.  It was then that I saw this hand reaching out to me and I began to lose the need to bury my head or run away.  Suddenly I wanted to face all of the disaster surrounding me and stop closing my eyes hoping everything would just disappear.  What a feeling as I began to shake the dirt from my head.  I began to hear clearly what God wanted for my life.  I could see a way out.  I started to taste freedom and I could feel the presence of God begin to take over my entire being.  I could smell the fragrance of Jesus in the air.
What caused me to pull my head out? I don’t really know.  I just knew inside of me that I was done with being buried in the sand.  I was done with the attacks from the enemy.  I was just done with all of it and I either could leave my eyes shut and my head buried in the sand or I could break free and run to Jesus.
Today I am grateful for freedom.  I am free to love again even when I thought it to be impossible.  I am free to be me and feel accepted.  I still have things to work through but for the most part I am healed.  I have hope now. No more ostrich syndrome for me!  I want to see everything God is doing in my life!

Givin’ Up


Zechariah 8:11-12

“But things have changed. I’m taking the side of my core of surviving people: Sowing and harvesting will resume, Vines will grow grapes, Gardens will flourish, Dew and rain will make everything green.
two hearts2
So what do you do when you are at the end of a rope?  What is there to do when all of your hope is lost?  What do you say when all of the words have voided the premises?  How many times to you run into the same brick building without it even budging?  This is how I felt sometimes in my new marriage, not because of the union of two hearts, but because there was conflict with blending families.  
If you have not noticed yet, there is an age gap between John and I..like 19 years.  I had two grown children when I entered into this second marriage and this made for some rocky waters to walk on.  I cannot pretend to have any clue the thoughts or feelings either of my children had, but I know they had doubts and questions.  Everything happened in such a rush that I did not take the time to look at all of the pieces of the puzzle before I tried to but them together.  Not knowing the whole picture to begin with also made it more difficult.
As I watched my son hug my husband on our wedding day and welcome him to the family, I was filled with joy, yet concerned for my daughter.  It took lots of prayer and surrender but now my daughter and husband get along quite well.  He is learning his boundaries as a step-dad and my children are receiving of the love he has to offer.  We all know that he will never take the place of a dad in their lives, but we hope strong relationships of trust will continue to grow.
Giving up is not really just shoving things aside and forgetting about it ever changing.  Giving up is about surrender.  When there is nothing left that you can do…give it up.  If you come to a crossroads and neither option really looks appealing…give it up.  If you find your self in a hopeless situation that you cannot control…give it up.  If you begin to grasp the understanding that all of our lives are in God’s hands then giving up is easy to do because we trust in His plan for our lives.  We need to learn how to stop giving it our all and self-destructing in the process and give it to Him so that we can be all that we were designed to be as His children.

Revive Your Life

Exodus 3:2
There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a blazing fire from the middle of a bush. Moses stared in amazement. Though the bush was engulfed in flames, it didn’t burn up.

Alright!  Time for some reality!  Are you really doing what you are called to do?  Are you really satisfied with your life?  Perhaps you feel as though you are just going through the motions…church on Sunday mornings, Bible study on Wednesday and then it’s just work and a series of life events smooshed in the middle.  Does your life have a purpose? Does your life represent that fact that Jesus resides in your heart?  Are you winning souls for Jesus are making disciples of others?  Do we as a body look like the city on the hill like we are suppose to be?

As I have been present again at revival meetings, I can feel God tugging on my heart strings even harder than before.  I will be getting my website up soon and moving ahead with what God is asking me to do.  I am surrendered and ready to move wherever He says to go and to do what ever He says to do.  I am at a point in my life where I know who I am in Christ.  I know that I know that I know God is wanting to use me to do great things for His glory or I would not have two books at the publishers waiting for funding with thoughts of a third book floating around in my head.

Just like God pursues us, we must seek Him out.  We need to search our hearts and see how far we are willing to go for God.  Our time is short here on this earth, the Bible makes that very clear that we are but a vapor.  Why do we spend so much time on the what ifs and not enough time on the how can we’s?  What defines a person, their accomplishments or values?  Are we judged by how many things we accumulated in life or by how many people we shared Jesus with?  I feel we all need to spend some time seeking just what our purpose is.  I feel I am on the verge of something very big with God and I feel more secure than ever in my relationship with Him.

I know that I am suppose to be a Christian writer and my ministry is for the broken hearted and hopeless.  Will I be perfect at it? NOPE  Will I make mistakes along the way? YES  But I know that I know that I know, God will not lead me astray and there will be doors open and opportunities for me.  I pray that anyone reading this will begin to feel the tug on their heart to seek God and to ask Him what their purpose here on earth really is.  I pray that the road before you is golden and you will see clearly what God has in store for you.  Be the Light others need to see to be lead out of darkness.  Choose to become an overcomer and press into the things of God.