Tag Archives: give up

Smashing the Remote Control

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How many times in our lives have when been faced with things that we just did not plan on happening?  Sometimes it’s a car accident.  Maybe the loss of a job.  A loved one passes on.  A sickness comes out of nowhere. Something happens that just stops life as we know it.  Our day to day activities are either altered or come to a complete halt all together and it is out of our control.  Often we have no say in the situation and this rocks our boat to the point of capsizing.  When we are faced with the moment of understanding that we have no control we kinda freak out.

We have been holding on to the remote so tightly that our hands are tired and white knuckled.  We have shaken and moved this remote in every direction possible and it seems to have stopped working altogether.  When the frustration of the situation sets in we are ready to throw the remote as far as we can away from us begging God to take it.  This is the moment when the light bulb pops on suddenly and you have come to the realization you were never in control in the first place.  Never. Not from the time of your very conception.  When we come to our senses and see that we were created for His purposes and we did not birth ourselves we can finally rest.

This is where I reside right now.  I have come to a complete stop.  I have refused to look past today.  How long did it take me to get here?  A very long time.  Now, I am not one to  plan out every detail of my life ahead of time, however I do like to figure things out and sometimes that can be very overwhelming and tiring.  Let me show you what I am talking about.

Back in April I injured my back at work.  I tried to fix it by ignoring it and the pain just worsened.  Finally went to the doctor and that started a downward slide of medications and physical therapy only to arrive at the point where I needed surgery.  In November the surgery took place and I began the slow process of healing.  I was told I would be off work for 4 to 6 weeks and now its almost February and here I am still not back to work.  Why?  Because I am not the one in control.  It’s not easy for me to take time to rest and in these past several weeks I have spent a great deal of time resting and seeking God.  Every time I get myself prepared to go back to work, something else happens to delay it, not my choice, God’s.

So let’s throw a monkey wrench into this drama just for a bit of fun.  The plan 5 weeks ago was that I would return to work on February 8th after my 6 weeks of physical therapy but after a recent visit to my OBGYN I discovered I was in need of another surgery to remove come polyps on my cervix so I have to have a D & C.  Guess what day it’s scheduled for? The very day I was planning on returning to work..What???  God what are you doing?  I now have to call my boss and tell her that I will not be back as planned until the 9th. (provided I even could)  So for the last two weeks I have been dreading going back to work the day after a second surgery.

At church on Sunday night I shared my heart with the people who have been on this journey of recovery with me.  We have watched God move time and time again.  I had finally submitted that this was out of my hands.  As I had spent a solid week trying to figure out how I was going to feel and playing out the what-ifs and getting all worked up I prayed.  I surrendered.  I let it go.  I finally chose to live one day at a time without fear.  I began to believe that God would not leave me hanging or stranded without a plan.  A close friend confided in me that when she first heard I was having surgery she saw it like I was never going to give myself a rest and so God was going to put everything into motion for me, hence the surgery and the multiple extensions of my healing.

What happens when you give it up?  He moves.  He removes doubt.  He moves mountains.  He takes care of everything along the way.  He squashes fears.  He shows up and shows off.  Yesterday as I was preparing for our team meeting making a dish to pass I received a phone call from my doctors office and they were canceling my appointment for Wednesday and could not reschedule until February 15.  My first reaction was: WHAT? What are you doing God?  Now I have to call my employer and once again explain that I will not be returning until a later day.

Then, as if being covered in a blanket of peace, I hear Him saying, “Be Still and Know that I am God.  I am taking care of all things.  All of this is out of your control.”  And with that being said all of my anxiety left.  I no longer have to fear going back to work the day after surgery, God took care of it.  I don’t need to worry about my job, I am only following the doctors and I have no control over that.  God took all of the decision making out of my weary hands.  All I have to do is what is right in front of me.  I don’t need to figure out how my boss will react.  I don’t have to be consumed with figuring all of this out, I just need to be consumed with Him.

Dear Lord:

Thank You for being in control.  Thank You for filling me with peace.  I stand here surrendered to whatever Your  plan is knowing You will always make a way. Help me to stay here on Your promises.  Help me to accept that I am not in control.  I choose now to render whatever control I think I still have powerless.  Thank You for figuring out this life for me so that I can just rest in Your Presence.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

 

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Right Where I am….

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God. 1 Peter 1:18-19 MSG

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Ever feel like it’s just not worth it to move any further?  You just have this stupid desire to be content with what you have already accomplished and call it good? I am kinda in that boat right now.  I just want to either be successful in what comes next or just stay right here.  I have worked hard to build this blog.  I have written two complete books and just waiting for publication funding to roll right in.  I am working on the third book while I wait….but I am just not sure why I am stuck in this mode of wanting to just not move.

I recently attended a church service and God showed me how many of us sacrifice things.  We extend our arms out in front of us as if we are setting something on a shelf with the intent of gaining easy access to it when we need it. This is how I have been about my writing lately.  I surrender the book publishing over and over and over and over it seems like, yet nothing moves.  Then I pause to reflect on what a pastor once mentioned in a sermon.  When you are stuck you need to go back the last word you got a word from God and start from there.

 Hmmmm…write the third book.  That was the word.  Am I doing that now? Nope!  Keep putting it on the back burner, KNOWING, the other two have gone nowhere so why bother….sigh! Not the idea God has in mind for my future I am sure.  The rest of the vision I saw was that God was asking us to place things we intend to give to Him on the highest shelf possible.  Instead of the offering being right in front of us we need to raise both of our arms in COMPLETE surrender so that we will be less tempted to try to get in back into our own hands.

So what now?  I have two options:  Quit or Write the third book.  It’s always up to us what we want to do because of our free will given to us by God, yet we can never reach our destiny if we don’t listen for  God’s still small voice to guide us along the way.  It is completely up to us if we want to do what He asks of us but I can tell you without the shadow of a doubt that you will stay right where you are if you do not complete the assignments.

So do you feel stuck?  Feeling like it’s not even worth pursuing your dream?  Well I am writing this blog as a pep talk to both of us then…pick up where you left off.  Put your feet in motion to the rhythm of faith and keep pressing forward into the things God has planned for you.  I wonder how many of God’s people give up right before the biggest breakthrough of their lives? Let us not be counted among that number.

Givin’ Up

 

Zechariah 8:11-12

“But things have changed. I’m taking the side of my core of surviving people: Sowing and harvesting will resume, Vines will grow grapes, Gardens will flourish, Dew and rain will make everything green.
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So what do you do when you are at the end of a rope?  What is there to do when all of your hope is lost?  What do you say when all of the words have voided the premises?  How many times to you run into the same brick building without it even budging?  This is how I felt sometimes in my new marriage, not because of the union of two hearts, but because there was conflict with blending families.  
If you have not noticed yet, there is an age gap between John and I..like 19 years.  I had two grown children when I entered into this second marriage and this made for some rocky waters to walk on.  I cannot pretend to have any clue the thoughts or feelings either of my children had, but I know they had doubts and questions.  Everything happened in such a rush that I did not take the time to look at all of the pieces of the puzzle before I tried to but them together.  Not knowing the whole picture to begin with also made it more difficult.
As I watched my son hug my husband on our wedding day and welcome him to the family, I was filled with joy, yet concerned for my daughter.  It took lots of prayer and surrender but now my daughter and husband get along quite well.  He is learning his boundaries as a step-dad and my children are receiving of the love he has to offer.  We all know that he will never take the place of a dad in their lives, but we hope strong relationships of trust will continue to grow.
Giving up is not really just shoving things aside and forgetting about it ever changing.  Giving up is about surrender.  When there is nothing left that you can do…give it up.  If you come to a crossroads and neither option really looks appealing…give it up.  If you find your self in a hopeless situation that you cannot control…give it up.  If you begin to grasp the understanding that all of our lives are in God’s hands then giving up is easy to do because we trust in His plan for our lives.  We need to learn how to stop giving it our all and self-destructing in the process and give it to Him so that we can be all that we were designed to be as His children.