Tag Archives: free

Ostrich Syndrome

The enemy hunted me down; he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life. He put me in a black hole, buried me like a corpse in that dungeon. I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away, my heart heavy, like lead. I remembered the old days, went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked, Stretched out my hands to you, as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
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Ever just dealt with something over and over again.  You do everything in your power to fix it and make it work.  You have exhausted every bit of you into the situation with the same results..no change.  What about those situations that come at you so quickly the only reaction you have is to go ostrich and bury your head?  When this happens you are just praying it will go away and quickly.  If you can’t see it, it can not affect you.
I call this the Ostrich Syndrome.  The ability to bury your head in the sand and pretend as if you cannot be seen.  Can you just picture this in your mind?  Even if we bury our heads the rest of our body is open for attack, in fact you would be in for a more fatal blow from the enemy at this point.  When we just bury our senses so to speak so that we don’t have to taste, smell, see or hear our enemies we are still open to him touching us.
A good example of this is when I was in my past marriage I often closed my eyes and hoped it would all just go away.  I no longer wanted to hear the screaming or taste the tears.  I didn’t want to see the pain in my children or smell the rottenness of the mess I had gotten myself into.  There were days when I would just bury my head and pretend I was free from the attacks.  It never worked.  I still felt the stings from the enemy.  My ex-husband still drank. Still smoked. Still searched daily for  his next fix.  Meanwhile with my head in the sand I was oblivious to what was really going on around me.
My children were hurting.  My heart was breaking.  I was slowly being erased by the enemy.  My life no longer mattered.  I wanted to just run away but I couldn’t because my head was buried in the sand. While I still had my head in tact, the rest of me was being attacked by the enemy.  I no longer cared what I looked like.  I had lost all hope in ever having a life.  The enemy had me exactly where he wanted me…buried..oblivious to what was happening..dead to life…hopeless.
Then one day I lifted my head and began to see what was happening.  It was then that I saw this hand reaching out to me and I began to lose the need to bury my head or run away.  Suddenly I wanted to face all of the disaster surrounding me and stop closing my eyes hoping everything would just disappear.  What a feeling as I began to shake the dirt from my head.  I began to hear clearly what God wanted for my life.  I could see a way out.  I started to taste freedom and I could feel the presence of God begin to take over my entire being.  I could smell the fragrance of Jesus in the air.
What caused me to pull my head out? I don’t really know.  I just knew inside of me that I was done with being buried in the sand.  I was done with the attacks from the enemy.  I was just done with all of it and I either could leave my eyes shut and my head buried in the sand or I could break free and run to Jesus.
Today I am grateful for freedom.  I am free to love again even when I thought it to be impossible.  I am free to be me and feel accepted.  I still have things to work through but for the most part I am healed.  I have hope now. No more ostrich syndrome for me!  I want to see everything God is doing in my life!
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A Pollination of His Love

Mark 16:15

The Message (MSG)

14-16 Still later, as the Eleven were eating supper, he appeared and took them to task most severely for their stubborn unbelief, refusing to believe those who had seen him raised up. Then he said, “Go into the world. Go everywhere and announce the Message of God’s good news to one and all. Whoever believes and is baptized is saved; whoever refuses to believe is damned.

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The Bible says that we as Christians should go to all ends of the earth and preach the Good News to everyone so that none shall perish which is essentially God’s heart for the people He created.  How many of us actually do that?  Why are we so afraid to share Jesus with everyone we meet?  I myself can be quite shy at times and find it difficult to share with people I don’t know.  Questions pop up in my mind like crazy….what if they think I am insane?  What if they don’t believe me?  What if I tell it the wrong way and they get offended?  What if they yell at me?  What if they run? What do I do if they say no? Ugh!!!  Why should we even care??? If they do not say yes to Jesus they are say yes to eternal death in hell, and I personally do not wish that on anyone.

I know we should not use scare tactics to get people to invite Jesus into their hearts.  I also know that no one can be forced into anything.  On a further note, people often want to run from their problems instead of face them, therefore being presented with the fact that they will die and not go to heaven, does not take precedence over the Sunday night football game or the latest reality show on television.

So, with those things in mind, how DO we share the Good News across the world without offending or pushing or annoying everyone?  I know this may seem simple, but it seems to work for my husband and I.  Live the Christian life.  Share your testimony with those you meet everywhere you go.  I cannot count how many times I have left my husband alone in a restaurant to use the restroom only to come back and find our waitress in tears.  Why?  Because he shared our story and Jesus just happened to show up and soften their hearts.

In reality, it’s God who does all the work.  First He sets us free by using someone else or an event in our lives, then He just sits back and watches us share our stories and the entire time we are doing this, He is softening hearts or setting the seeds.  All we have to do is follow after Jesus and love our neighbors as ourselves.  Yes, it really is that easy.  God’s heart is that none shall perish that all would join Him in heaven one day.  We as His children, need to press into the things of God so that the end result is an outpouring or a pollination of His love.  Are we willing to become pollinators for Jesus?  It’s easy, spread your wings and buzz over to the nearest gathering of people and start sharing your heart, let God take care of the rest!

How Are You Finding Joy?

Psalm 9:2
I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

To continue on with my theme for the week, I want to continue thankfulness even when we think things are not as they should be.  Take for instance getting a new home and you were hoping for 3 bedrooms and God provides a more than sufficient home according to His promise of provision but the home only has 2 bedrooms and you really wanted the third one for a new office.  Did you really need a new office?  Is there somewhere else in this home where you could fit an office?  Often times we are just not happy with what God gives us and we complain and are ungrateful because it does not have all the bells and whistles we wanted. We should be thankful in the end for the roof over our heads. God knows what we need and He will not give us more than we can handle.  And I know for sure He provides for our needs at just the right timing.

Let’s take a closer look at misunderstood provision as it played a huge role in my life.  Here I was in the middle of relationship with my husband that was growing darker and darker every day.  My typical day towards the end of my disaster consisted of:  getting the kids ready, going to work for 9 hours, finding money for dinner and kerosene, finding my husbands next fix, endless trips to the emergency room and so much more.  This happened over and over again and as I cried myself to sleep each night, I laid there wondering when the end would come.

Then, in the scheme of things and my bewilderment God stepped in and took my husband from the scenario.  He freed me from the hell I was operating out of on a daily basis and do  you know as I sat in that hospital room I still did not want to let anyone know about what was happening everyday in my life?  I was literally afraid of how I was going to make it if my husband was not in the picture any more?  Now I look back and just shake my head and giggle to myself , “oh ye of little faith.”

God had given me an out and I still was not happy it seemed.  Now I would have to raise two teenagers alone on  the salary of just me.  Here I was with no gas on at the trailer, no working appliances and a van that just did not run right and my husband was the one who did most of the cooking and the fixing of anything broken. I was in a panic because I did not know how to cook on a an outside grill. I just could not see it at the time the wonderful provision God had already in motion because I just wanted Him to fix my husband.  Now I look back and as I can see more of the bigger picture, I see what God had in mind all along and in order for these things to happen, there had to be a separation.

Next Blog:  more on the separation and how it has drawn me ever so close to God