Tag Archives: eyes

Ostrich Syndrome

The enemy hunted me down; he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life. He put me in a black hole, buried me like a corpse in that dungeon. I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away, my heart heavy, like lead. I remembered the old days, went over all you’ve done, pondered the ways you’ve worked, Stretched out my hands to you, as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.
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Ever just dealt with something over and over again.  You do everything in your power to fix it and make it work.  You have exhausted every bit of you into the situation with the same results..no change.  What about those situations that come at you so quickly the only reaction you have is to go ostrich and bury your head?  When this happens you are just praying it will go away and quickly.  If you can’t see it, it can not affect you.
I call this the Ostrich Syndrome.  The ability to bury your head in the sand and pretend as if you cannot be seen.  Can you just picture this in your mind?  Even if we bury our heads the rest of our body is open for attack, in fact you would be in for a more fatal blow from the enemy at this point.  When we just bury our senses so to speak so that we don’t have to taste, smell, see or hear our enemies we are still open to him touching us.
A good example of this is when I was in my past marriage I often closed my eyes and hoped it would all just go away.  I no longer wanted to hear the screaming or taste the tears.  I didn’t want to see the pain in my children or smell the rottenness of the mess I had gotten myself into.  There were days when I would just bury my head and pretend I was free from the attacks.  It never worked.  I still felt the stings from the enemy.  My ex-husband still drank. Still smoked. Still searched daily for  his next fix.  Meanwhile with my head in the sand I was oblivious to what was really going on around me.
My children were hurting.  My heart was breaking.  I was slowly being erased by the enemy.  My life no longer mattered.  I wanted to just run away but I couldn’t because my head was buried in the sand. While I still had my head in tact, the rest of me was being attacked by the enemy.  I no longer cared what I looked like.  I had lost all hope in ever having a life.  The enemy had me exactly where he wanted me…buried..oblivious to what was happening..dead to life…hopeless.
Then one day I lifted my head and began to see what was happening.  It was then that I saw this hand reaching out to me and I began to lose the need to bury my head or run away.  Suddenly I wanted to face all of the disaster surrounding me and stop closing my eyes hoping everything would just disappear.  What a feeling as I began to shake the dirt from my head.  I began to hear clearly what God wanted for my life.  I could see a way out.  I started to taste freedom and I could feel the presence of God begin to take over my entire being.  I could smell the fragrance of Jesus in the air.
What caused me to pull my head out? I don’t really know.  I just knew inside of me that I was done with being buried in the sand.  I was done with the attacks from the enemy.  I was just done with all of it and I either could leave my eyes shut and my head buried in the sand or I could break free and run to Jesus.
Today I am grateful for freedom.  I am free to love again even when I thought it to be impossible.  I am free to be me and feel accepted.  I still have things to work through but for the most part I am healed.  I have hope now. No more ostrich syndrome for me!  I want to see everything God is doing in my life!
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Release Yourself

Romans 7:6

But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.
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Ever just feel stuck where you are at? Sorta frozen in place unable to go up or down?  Perhaps not wanting to face the future or revisit the past and undecided of which way you should go?  What gets us so bound up that we lie in waiting for something to just happen? We know there are seasons in our lives so, maybe we just write off our stagnancy for a quiet, uneventful season of our existence.  I have been in this place quite a few times and just now as I was flipping through some old journals I noticed something startling about myself, I was stuck at one point.
Going back to that blog from the other day “Is is Safe to Open My Eyes?”, I was closing my eyes and hoping everything would go away.  I found my journal from April of 2009, the one I take to church and take notes on or record my soaking times, and I realized I had revelation and things from God right up to the point of April 13th.  What I saw as I flipped through the pages was that after my ex-husbands suicide attempt, I wrote nothing about what God was speaking to me, there were just “notes” random, ordinary notes.  What was holding me back from God at that point?  What was keeping me from moving ahead or receiving words of knowledge?
I guess maybe that while my eyes were shut I was mad at God for some reason.  I did not understand why He separated me from my husband.  I could not see what laid ahead for me.  I felt lost and alone even though the life I had led for 20 years was just one disaster after another.  I was just scared and I had not released myself from the pain of my past.  It wasn’t until a revival started at a nearby church that my eyes became open.  It was in that revival that God started speaking to me again and I began listening.  He gave me the release I needed and then the more I surrendered to Him, the more He released me from my past.
If I look back on journals past the revival time, I can clearly see that my eyes were open and I was released.  I had finally reached a level in my relationship with God that I could trust Him with everything me.  I could pray and find release from some very painful memories.  I was finally able to trust again, not only in God but also myself.  I had released my heart into the hands of God so that He could begin a work in me that continues to this day.  By releasing the pain I opened up areas in my heart for restoration.
Are you ready to release yourself?  What is preventing you from stepping forward?  Do you need to set your heart into the hands of God so that He can begin the restoration process in you?  Search your heart today and see if you are ready for a change.