“I said, ‘Who are you, Master?’ “The voice answered, ‘I am Jesus, the One you’re hunting down like an animal. But now, up on your feet—I have a job for you. I’ve handpicked you to be a servant and witness to what’s happened today, and to what I am going to show you.
How do we know we are headed to the things of God? How do we know that we are making a difference for His Kingdom? When does it become completely clear that we are doing God’s will? I don’t have all the answers to these questions and there is a multitude of different answers that we could come up with. I feel that as it is stated in Jeremiah 29:11 that our purpose was already planned out before we were even born. That’s a hefty revelation for some especially when we all have our own plans and desires for our lives.
So many of us become Christians’ yet we still want to do it our way. We seem to think we have such a better way of doing things than God. For some reason we think that our plan is going to work so much better than God’s. May I take a moment to remind us that He is the creator of the UNIVERSE?! He is the director of our steps IF we allow Him to. As we go about trying to make our plans work, He waits patiently for us to reach the dead ends. He waits like a patient father waiting for a wayward child to come to their senses. He waits and waits until we figure out we just cannot do this thing called life on our own.
If I have learned anything in 43 years of life, I have finally grasped the idea of surrender. In order for me to know where to go next, I have to surrender my life. Yes, my WHOLE life, not just parts of it…ALL of it. Such a hard revelation at times. If I ever want to do anything for Jesus, I have to be aware of the fact that my life is not my own. It never was and I will never be able to put my own restrictions on it if I have said yes to Jesus. I am no longer at a crossroads in this area, especially after all the good things which have happened since I learned to apply the principle of surrender in my life. If I had not surrendered my marriage situation I would not be happily remarried right now and on the journey of a life time!
I encourage all of us to just surrender. Surrender your life. Surrender your will. Surrender your emotions. Surrender who you think you should be to God and see if He agrees. If we want to do anything for Jesus on this earth, we have to choose to stay surrendered to His plan for our lives. If we want to see people with healed hearts and renewed minds, we have to remain surrendered to God’s Plan, not our own.
[ God’s Discipline Proves His Love ] Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
Ever been in that moment where you just want to get where you are going and don’t want to do all the stuff in between? Like I want to be a published author but the steps to get there seem almost impossible. Take for instance the writing, the editing, the financing……..all the necessary steps which need to be completed before the goal is accomplished. I have been dreaming of being a writer since I wrote my first poem in kindergarten. I loved arranging words and having them take on a whole new meaning. As I grew up I learned how to convey my emotions through mere words and I found great excitement in doing so.
At this point in my “career” I would like to be writing for a Christian magazine or something bigger than just this blog. I aspire to have writing about the things of God be my full time work….yet here I am with just this blog. I often wonder what God is doing. I thought by now the books would be published. My plans obviously are different than God’s.
So let’s put this into perspective for a moment….I have dreams and aspirations for my life, but God has already planned everything out, so why I am even trying to figure this out? In Jeremiah 29:11 it clearly states He knows the plans He has for our lives. We should be willing to let it all go and trust that God has it all taken care of. If we could just wake up in the morning and look up the heavens and say, “Here I am Lord, what’s on the agenda for today?”
I trust God with all my heart and I know He will give me the desires of my heart because He is the one who placed those desires in our hearts in the first place as our Creator. I know I just need to relax and go with the flow as God sets up things for me that I can’t even see. I have had the pity party. I have stood behind the brick wall wondering why I can’t move forward. I have done everything possible to move myself forward only to come to discover that I will not be moved until God has made the way……..ya know that patience thing.
“So here I am Lord, waiting to move. Show me today where we are going. I choose to take Your hand and lead me into the adventures you have already planned for me.”
But He commanded the skies to open; He opened the doors of heaven.
How many of us are waiting for God to do something? How often do we just plunder through doors thinking we have the right way to go when in reality God has something better waiting for us if we just become patient in His presence and wait on Him. Of course we have all heard at some point or another, “Are you waiting on God or is He waiting on you?” It’s the age old question and here is the answer I found in the Bible: Isaiah 30:18
[ Blessings for the Lord’s People ] So the Lord must wait for you to come to Him so He can show you His love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for His help. We have to seek God out for our desires but then we must wait on Him before we move.
Wow! What a fresh revelation to see as I am writing this very blog. The reason I wrote on the subject of doors and patience is because tonight I was given a prayer about 5 doors being set in front of me and I am just waiting. I know what is behind each door and I have the freedom to choose which one I will open. They are all good and will lead to God, however, I am patiently waiting for God to choose just the right door for me. He is honored by my patience. It was a pretty cool word to have spoken to me and I knew right away what it pertained to, my books.
I have been at a standstill for quite some time concerning the publishing of my books and I could probably come up with a hundred schemes on how to get them published by now, but I am waiting on God. In my standing and waiting, $800 has been provided and I know there is more provision to come. I know that I cannot rush this. I am also secure in God enough to know He has a much better plan behind whatever door He opens than I do.
I know it never seems easy to wait. I personally never considered myself to be a patient person, however, looking back at my life, I guess I have been. I have stood in places of my life where others would have ran far away. I have chosen not to move when I easily could have made my own choices and gone off the deep end. I see a pattern now looking back, the more I just waited for God in my circumstances, the greater the reward.
Now here I am standing with these five doors set before me and I will continue to lay it all down in surrender and allow God to open the perfect door for me. I am placing Do Not Disturb signs on each of the doors so as not to be tempted to open them up just to see what the possibilities are. What are you waiting on God for? Have you even brought it to His attention and sought out His grace? What would you do if you had the choice to open the doors? Waiting on the Lord is never easy, especially with this free will of ours, yet the reward is so much greater when we allow the Creator of our life to move us in the direction of our destiny.
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?
This is me. Who am I? I come with a long list of descriptions for my life and its’ journey so far. First I was a daughter, adopted out so then I was an adoptee. I then became a friend as I grew up. Then I was a girlfriend, fiance, wife, mother, sister, sister- in-law, daughter-in-law and aunt. At work I was an employee crew member then a shift manager, a department head and now a general manager. Now in my current status, I am a divorcee, remarried, living for Christ woman of God. I am an author of two books waiting for publication. My children are grown and well on their way to leading their own lives. Why do I share such details about my life? Because I want to show how I wasn’t always me in any of these relationships until now.
What do I mean? Well, I was always the person “bending” myself to fit into the relationship I was in. Even in early friendships I just wanted to be loved and so I would do what I could to change me so that it meshed with the friendship so they would like me. I started smoking at the age of 13 to fit in. I began drinking at 15, to fit in. I began dating a man older than myself at 15 because I wanted acceptance when I really was not even ready for love. I gave myself away at 17 because I gave in. I had several not right relationships because I was searching to be loved and accepted and instead of finding that in God, I was getting it from people.
I married my first husband at 22 because I was pregnant and I “thought” we were in love. It was a whirlwind of romance but I don’t even know what I was in love with. He was a drinker but I thought I could fix that problem. I got pregnant just a few months after I met him and even though I did not feel obligated at that point to marry him, I knew it was the right thing to do. After marriage it was a long 20 year road of NOT being myself. I submitted my life to taking care of my kids and my husband and pretending everything was okay. I was not free to be me and it hindered everything God had created me to become. I stopped writing. I stopped attending church. I stopped having friendships. I was just running around in circles trying to have a life when there was no life left in me.
So what happened? God stepped in and reached down into my pit on April 13th, 2009 and pulled me from my despair and reset my “Me” button. During a 3 year separation from my husband I learned all about me. I saw what God saw in me. I began to embrace who I was created to be. I was finally on the right path and headed for my destiny. I was writing again. I was teaching my children the things of God. I was desperately seeking God first instead of people. In three years God gave Me back to me. Now I am content to be myself and I have a man in my life now who accepts me and all of my flaws. I know that I can share my true feelings with my husband now and not feel as though I have to “bend” to fit into his perspective of the “perfect wife”.
Now I can freely dance. I can sing out loud. I laugh. I am finally able to be me without any restrictions. How is this possible you ask? Because I am seeking God first and not the approval of man. That is how simple it really is. Go to the One who knows you best, your Creator, and allow Him to show you just who you are. I have never been happier and life is so much easier when you don’t have to keep up with the lies that everything is okay. I love God and therefore I now love my life. I look forward to the coming years. I can’t wait to publish the books. I can’t wait to see what God does in this new marriage. I eagerly await the next move of God in me.