Tag Archives: choose

Who Took My Blankie?

My very own

Just recently I had a passionate conversation and I wished I had recorded it, however, I will do my best to repeat the magnitude of what was said.

We are born.  Not by our own choice, but God’s.  We come into this world very unaware of our surroundings.  No clue perhaps in those first few moments of taking our first breaths.  Then as if out of nowhere there is a cutting.  A sudden revelation of a separation takes place.  The life line which you had been connected to for nine or so months suddenly is gone.

Now of course in those early stages of life we don’t actually have those thoughts running through our heads as birthing is a natural process which has been happening in this earth for a very long time.  For those who have anxiety at the moment you can probably close your eyes and imagine that whole beginning scene.  Those with separation issues could also relate.  What you once knew as comfort and connection is suddenly gone. Taken away.

So let’s take this to the next level.  As children we often cling to things such as stuffed animals, dolls or the ever so popular blankie.  These items become very important to us in early life.  You share EVERYTHING with this object, things you probably never told anyone else except for maybe your imaginary friend if you had one around.  I remember my son had a favorite teddy bear.  He went every where my son went.  If it was time for Teddy to have a bath, my son would stand by the washer and dryer until the whole process was complete.  He was clearly attached.

For the purposes of this discussion I am going to use the representation of the Blankie as I move through this next phase.  The Blankie is going to represent things we cling to in life as a comfort: food, family, friends, secret sins, drugs, alcohol and the likes.  Anything which we choose to go to instead of God.  As with the Blankie, we develop a relationship with our source of comfort.  It’s the one thing we know that will never let us down, it does not have the ability to.  We know when no one else understands us, our Blankie will.  It will comfort us.  Keep us close.  Never rejecting us.  Always a true friend and confidante.

What happens when God asks us to let go of the Blankie so that He can be our comfort, our true friend and confidante?  Of course!  We panic.  We cling all the tighter to our Blankie because a fear rises up in us.  How can we trust anyone else with our Blankie?  It knows us inside and out and would never hurt us or reject us or leave us hanging.  How do we know we will find comfort after we let go of the Blankie?

It all comes down to trust.  A trust beyond all thinking.  A trust so strong you have no choice but to cling to it instead of your false comforts.  For you see, a Blankie is just a false representation of love and trust.  In the end, you can’t take it with you.  It will be burned up with the things of the past.  You will step into heaven and God will be there.  Not your Blankie,–your false comfort.

God is calling us to trust Him with EVERYTHING.  Just like we shared our entire early stages of life with said Blankie, God wants you to choose to trust Him.  He wants to be your comfort.  Your security.  You source of Acceptance.

Some of us are still clinging to our Blankies.  We are at a point in our adult lives where we are afraid of being hurt and disappointed.  We don’t want to give up the very thing which has been there all along.  Drugs, alcohol, secret sins, food, bad relationships and various other addictions are not our security.  They are not our comfort.  They are not to be trusted.  Only God. God is the only one who will never let you down.  He will be there from the beginning until the end.  You can take Him where ever you go.  You can share every secret with Him.

One final thought.  In the beginning, we are not the ones who get to choose who cuts the cord.  When it comes to our false comforts we don’t have to do anything but trust God to take them and heal us from the aftermath.  We run around this big earth thinking we have to do more.  Thinking we are the ones who have to fix ourselves before we can go to God.  Those are lies.  God will take your Blankie.  All you have to do is believe.

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Dear Lord, Help me today to trust you with my Blankie.  I choose today to trust you with my Blankie.  I believe You can be trusted.  I believe You are my source of comfort and security.  Lord let me learn that the past is behind me and You are right in front of me, waiting to heal me.  I thank You Lord for removing those things in my life which are not of You.  I pray for all those who feel stuck in their sin or addictions that they made find true comfort in You alone and be healed from their wounds.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

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Treasurable Love

101a

Today my life is good.  The heart ache is gone and has been replaced with pure, treasurable love.  My life once again has purpose and meaning.  I finally feel like I have been placed on the right path which will propel me into my destiny.  Life has not always been easy and even now there are steps I still am hesitant to take.  I have come to this place where I trust God and I go where He says to go.  Like Jesus mirrored in His ministry, he only did what He saw the Father doing, anything else would have been man’s doing,

How did I get from point A to point B without losing myself?  I am not sure except there came this one day when my life was crashing all around me and I chose to stop running.  It’s hard to wrap my mind around some of the things God calls us to do, and often they make absolutely no sense to the human thought process, yet I know beyond the shadow of a doubt it’s the way of God working in my life.

What caused me to write today about treasure? My husband.  He left yesterday for a 2 day road trip.  For most married couples that is no big deal, in fact often welcomed.  Not me.  Within the hour of him leaving I felt a loss.  Not that I can’t be without him, I didn’t WANT to be without him.  My husband is not what I asked for at all.  I really had no choice when he dropped onto the radar of my life.  For you see, I had this in-depth conversation with God in which I clearly stated that I did not want another man in my life after my divorce.  Sometimes I am glad God does not listen to our pleas only because He has something so much better to offer us.

When John came in to my life I was broken.  My heart had been shattered into a bazillion pieces and I had no desire to put them back together or be loved again, BUT God softened my heart.  He renewed my thinking.  As He did this, John became a true treasure in my life.  The more I tried to say I did not deserve his love, the more God moved.  Now, I would not trade my husband for anything in the world because I know how much he means to me and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt this is God’s plan for my life.

So what is your treasure?  Is there something God has given to you that perhaps you did not understand?  I encourage you to seek God for what your treausrable love is.  Sometimes His ways do not make sense to us, but He is our loving Father and He desires to give us the best of everything.  My best gift was love.  The love of my children.  The love of my husband.  The love of dear friends.  And most importantly the love of God which He has poured into my life even in the moments where I felt less than deserving of anything.  Be still right now and KNOW that God is at work on your behalf and He will never leave you or forsake you.

mytreasure

I Don’t Care, but ya Know I do….

God is all strength for his people, ample refuge for his chosen leader; Save your people and bless your heritage. Care for them; carry them like a good shepherd.
respect1
Ever get to this point in life where you just don’t care anymore, almost as if your care button is broken?  In ministry no matter what you are called to, you are commanded Biblically to love others. Sometimes this is very hard to do when the people you are trying to love just don’t seem to care enough to make it worth it.  This is my struggle.  I work hard.  I try to separate home from work and it seems no matter what I do to get to this place, something is always seeping in.
I love my job most days, yet there are times when I have just had enough and we go back to that ostrich syndrome that I spoke of a few blogs back, I just want to bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes away.  Am I being selfish? Do I really not care? No and no.  We all need a healthy separation from things. So what is really bothering me?  Why don’t I want to care anymore?  Here are the things I discovered as I sought God:
1.  Not everyone has the same passion
2.  Nobody has the same drive to do things
3.  People are motivated by different things
4.  For some people, YES this is just a means to an end purpose
So, now what does this all boil down to?  Do I get to choose to stop caring because it appears as those others don’t care?  Do I become a people pleaser?  Do I just do what I need to do and not worry how it is affecting others? Nope. Respect is the answer.  There needs to a revelation on respecting each others purposes.
When I chose Jesus into my life, I chose to love. I chose to care.  I chose to help people.
So I guess the answer is simple..keep calm and keep caring.  I choose in this moment of time to keep caring, to keep helping others find who they are.  I will continue but perhaps with a different approach.  Instead of thinking they don’t care, maybe I could view it as they are doing their best in their situation.  We often have to stop and carefully consider where  a person has been and what they have been through.  For years in my previous marriage I had to try and separate the wreckage of home life and my job.  I am thankful for understanding bosses who understood what I was dealing with.  I need to have that same heart and compassion for the people I know.
Life with Jesus is challenging sometimes but only because it was easier when we did not care.

Everyday is New Year’s day!

Lamentations 3:22-24 (msg)

22-24 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He’s all I’ve got left.

choices 4

I will be upfront and personal:  Brenda does not make New Years resolutions or is not very good at setting goals.  With that said, is it time for a new direction?  Perhaps the New Year is a chance to just change something in ones life.  What if January 1st is just another ordinary day?  Every day in life is a chance to change.  Every morning offers a new opportunity to make a difference in your life.  Every day we awake, His mercies are new so why can’t it be New Years Day everyday?
If we want to be different in personality or reactions, where do we start?  What if we fail? (over and over and over and over again) Life is short but the connections we make here on earth are forever.  I have read testimonies of those who have gone to heaven and come back about all the people they recognized.  What we do here on earth matters.  So how do we transition to this new creation if the old-self wants to butt in all the time?  Not easy for sure. Let me share a little story from my past.
A few years ago a prophetess came into town and spoke a word of knowledge deep into my soul.  It was a simple message and one that I understood immediately. “If you don’t start loving my people, I cannot move you forward.”  Well, not the easiest thing to receive especially in front of a group of Christian people, but I certainly knew I had room for improvement in this area of my life.  Yes, I was one of those people everyone loved at church but in the workplace I was not the nicest person.  I was often sarcastic.  I had no tolerance for stupidity.  I had very little patience when things were not done my way.  How did I change this? Carpet time and choosing to make a change.
I began seeking God every chance I had in services asking Him to change me from the inside out.  Once I made the choice to change and asked God for help, things became easier because He began to show me the hearts of other people.  He started giving me a heart of compassion like I had never known before.  I began to see how people’s pasts played an important role on how they react to things now.   I have learned to respond and not react to situations for the most part.  Yes, there are times when I lose it and have to start over but I am not giving up.
So what do you want to change this year?  Do you want to start today or is your New Years Day January 10th? Or March 3rd? Or August 14th?  You get to choose because changing begins with you and God.  Choosing to change means you are ready to take a step in a new direction and only you can determine when you want something different for your life.  As for me, I am not sure yet what my New Years Date will be, I am not sure what I am ready to change at this point.  Perhaps choosing to love more or having more compassion.  All I know is that I have to be ready to make a change in my life because I am the one who will have to go through the process.  So Happy New Years to those who are moving forward today and Happy New Years whenever to those who are not quite ready.  Just remember, every day is a chance to change….you get to choose!

Rear View Mirror Addictions

1 Corinthians 13:3-7

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
letting go
Ever just wish you could get rid of your past like the seeds of a dandelion?  Do you find yourself obsessed with looking back at the past constantly with regrets?  How do we come to this place where we find peace…constant peace?  How can there even be such a thing as peace when we have made so many wrong turns and decisions?  Sometimes we just shake our heads in disbelief that we could be so stupid about things yet we show no desire to make any changes for the good.  We are stuck in an addiction of looking in that rear view mirror and have no answers as to how to stop the staring.
How are we defined as a person?  Do new people meeting us judge us for our past?  NO, of course not, they don’t even know us, so why do we even bring the subject up?  When we come to the realization that Jesus is the answer to every single problem we encounter, we can begin to deal with our past and see it for what it is…the past.  The dictionary describes the past as :

PAST (adjective) 1.gone by or elapsed in time: It was a bad time, but it’s all past now.

 

Gone. Do you see it?  It is gone, finished..can’t go back and change a thing, so why are we staring at it like we could do something different?  I know for me, letting go of the past was not an easy thing to do, in fact it took me three years of Jesus time to get through my detox from the past.  I spent several days of my life blaming myself for all of the disaster that had occurred in my life time.  Bad choices.  Mistake judgments.  Wrong answers.  I felt like I was the reason my husband was the way he was.  I thought I caused him to turn to drugs and alcohol to ease his pains and agony with life.  I felt I was the reason I had no true love in my life.  All lies of the enemy.

 

So what is the solution?  Jesus.  Take your past and pretend it’s on the end of a dandelion stem and blow!  Blow all the lies away.  Scatter the past in a million directions and begin to live life to it’s fullest.  Choose to stop staring at the rear view mirror as if things are going to change.  Learn from the past but stop taking it with you. Choose today not to be addicted to your past.  Remember, it’s not going to change.  Choose today to follow after Jesus and be at peace knowing you have walked through fire and survived!

Pick Me! Pick Me!! PICK ME!!!!

 

John 3:16 

For God so loved the world that He GAVE us His only Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall have life eternal.

chooselove

 

How many times in our lives to we stand in places where we are chosen?  Getting a job.  Participating in the school drama.  Being picked in elementary school for the dodge ball team.  Entering a contest.  Waiting to be picked for someone’s prom date.  Waiting to be chosen as a wife or husband.  So many areas in our life for disappointments.  Everso many chances for woundness.  Opportunities for Satan to enter into our world and have his way.  How lucky are we that God will always choose us?

 

I think there are some persons reading this that just need to get this in their spirit.  Because He LOVED us FIRST, He gave us life!  Abundant life is at our fingertips.  Because He LOVED us FIRST, He gave us a free will.  We have the ability to choose Him for our lives when He already has chosen us for His own.  Because He LOVED us FIRST, we get to inherit ALL of the things He promises in the Bible.  So why do we feel so unloved and unchosen?  Perhaps it was our past lives before we knew Jesus.  Maybe we still have it stuck in our heads that no one picked us for the dodge ball team in third grade and therefore, we are not worthy of ever being picked for anything, especially the work of the Kingdom.

 

BECAUSE He loved us He gave us life and life abundant.  Get this into your spirit.  Stop what you are doing right now and repeat that like a bizzilion times.  He loves you.  He desires to be in a relationship with you.  No man or woman on this earth can give you what God has to offer.  Your healing does not come from a book or time or doctors….your inner healing only comes from Jesus.  When we accept Jesus as our PERSONAL Savior, we are made new.  Our old life is passed away and we are free to choose to love again.  As new creations in Christ it’s like we have a fresh new start.  We get to choose a new life of abundant love .

 

Today..choose Jesus.  Today…accept your inheritance.  Today….begin to take hold of yourself as a new Creation.  Move forward  from this moment and dive into what God has in store for you.  Begin your new life with the knowledge that it is His choice to love you.  It is His choice to give you abundance.  It is His choice to show you love like you have never seen or felt it before.  Choose today to be a new Creation in Love and choose to take up your inheritance and run with God. Choose to be Loved!!!

Just Be You—It Makes Satan Mad

Jeremiah 1:5
“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

Be this.  Do that.  Wear this.  Pick that.  Conform. Conform Conform.  Fit in.  Grow up.  Why can’t you be like your brother?  You are nothing like your dad.  Do this to look like a rockstar.  Have this surgery to make you feel better.  Demand after demand for us to change who we are.  Do we not believe in the Bible?  God knew us before we were even formed in the wombs of our mothers.  He designed us just as we are.  He loves us for who He created us to be, so why are we so determined to change what He set in motion?  Why do we have this drive to change who we are?

Well, my theory on this issue is simple, Satan.  Does it not make sense that he would want us to change so that we get off our path to our destiny? Satan will do everything in his power to change our course.  He will feed us lie after lie about who we are until we fall into trap after trap. We go on diets and dye our hair to make ourselves feel better.  We sometimes drink to fit into certain crowds even when its not really who we are.  Sometimes we start smoking to look cool and it ends up staying with us for years.  So many different aspects of life we fall into that really are not of God.

So my point in this all is easy, how do you keep Satan away from your life?  Just be you.  Just accept who you are in Christ and go with the flow of the river of life.  Color you hair if you choose, but do it because it makes you happy, not to appease someone else.  Laugh out loud in public even if Satan does not want you to be happy.  Fall head over heels in love with your mate, no matter what it looks like to the world around you.  There is no such thing as “too happy” when you are residing in Christ.  I urge you now to shake off the things of this world and begin to discover the real you.  The more you become yourself, the madder Satan will get, and that’s a good thing.

Be who you were designed to be by our Creator.  Choose right now to become the child of God you have always dreamed of being.  Be real.  Be free.  Today just choose to be who you are.  Start you day by making this statement out loud (filling in your name in the blank):  “Today I am choosing to be just ____________.”  The more days I choose to be just Brenda, the smoother things seem to go. Try it, see what God can do where you are seeking after His desires for your life.