Tag Archives: alone

Faith Zero


[ Faith in What We Don’t See ] The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.
Ever been so lost at sea that you are being tossed to and fro and lose all sense of where you are?  Ever been driving in a storm and lightening is flashing and thunder is crashing all around you and your body is on high alert of danger?  Ever gone to a new school and as all the unfamiliar faces gawk at you in curiosity you feel unwanted and unliked?  Well, this is what life is without faith.  Without faith nothing is possible.  Faith is how we get closer to God and it is the very substance that brings us into the presence of God.
When my faith was at zero I could not make heads or tails of my life.  I was standing in a dirt storm chocking on everything that hit me.  My eyes hurt because of the debris.  My lungs were working over time to catch up with the fear racing through my body.  I could not see God.  I could not see anything good in my life.  I felt doomed to die right where I had chosen to be.  Now that might sound a bit dramatic but when you get to the point in your life where you feel that you must fix all of your mistakes before God can change your life, that’s how it feels.
Empty. Exhausted. Alone. Depressed. I begin to seek God.  I wanted out of my mess.  I wanted to feel what life felt like again.  I longed to smile.  I longed to be carefree.  I had this burning desire within me to move beyond my past, yet I could not make sense of the broken, shattered heart laying before me.  Where do I even begin to let God into my mess?
With one teeny tiny seed of faith.  One moment of surrender on my lips.  One whispered sentence into the surrounding darkness, “I’m sorry Lord, please forgive me.”
My life has been dramatically changed in five short years because I chose to believe God was bigger than any mess I could have ever gotten myself into.  God is bigger than addictions.  God is bigger than abuse.  God is bigger than neglect.  God is bigger than shame.  God is bigger than sin.  God is bigger than regret.  God is bigger than pain.  God is bigger than any bad decision I ever made.
Today I can hold my head up and be thankful for my word of the year: FAITH.  I look forward now to what God can and will do in my life.  My marriage, children, job and christian walk are all in His hands and I just need to rest in the knowledge of who He is.  Yes. Rest.
Dear God,  I thank You and praise You for bringing me to such sweet freedom in knowing who You are.  I pray that You will keep me on track.  I long to Linger in Your sweet Presence.  Lord, I pray for those who are reading this today that they will begin to believe that You are bigger than anything in their life right now.  I pray all will find rest in You today.  Thank You for being bigger than life to us.
In Jesus Name.  Amen.

In a Forest of Trees

John 8:12

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

 We had a lovely day just wondering around Michigan this past spring.  We began our day at sunrise on the lake praising His name and then ended our day almost exactly 12 hours later with a hike to the lake farther south.  We took the time to take pictures and enjoyed God marvelous beauty. My daughter, Victoria is quite the picture taker but the one I am attaching to this note, I took and did not realize the significance of it until I placed as the background for my laptop.

As I was wandering in the forest  I took great notice of the trees for some reason, some were brand new baby ones, others were old, some broken, short ones, many really tall trees and some with damage to them.  I was amazed at the size of some of them and wondered just how long they had actually been there standing with great prestige in such a wondrous place.  There were some pictures I wish now I had taken, perhaps on a return visit this summer, I will.  I stumbled upon this tree which was hallow from one side yet it had great tallness to it and looked perfect when viewed from the other side.  Much like some people, this tree may have appeared from one angle to be whole and mature while on the inside it was hallow.  How many of us have hallow spots on the inside?  How many of us are longing for something to fill that space in our insides?  We may appear as though we have it all together but something is missing and sometimes when others see us from a certain view they see that emptiness.

There was another tree, which I tried taking a picture of but it was just too tall!  I was in awe of how far it reached into the sky.  But if you looked closely, the first thing you actually saw was this place of damage, not far from the ground.  Not sure what had happened but you would have thought this tree would not have grown very much after such damage, yet much like Christians, we keep growing despite the wounds.  Sometimes we hear testimonies of others and we wonder how they even made it through a certain situation to where they are today.  Just like the tree, they find purpose and they just reach up towards heaven and God meets them right were they are.  Just finding security in the fact they have been saved.  Not realizing that by their testimony they can reach others and show them the Light.  How did I become so selfish that I just wanted to be a drifter in the forest of life not really making a difference in others lives?  Took my eyes off of the Son and accepted my situation as unchangeable, that’s what I did.  I stopped searching for answers to my questions, in reality, I stopped searching for God.

Towards the end of our hike I took the attached picture, trying to capture the light through the trees.  It wasn’t until I placed it on my laptop as the background did I notice the second light.  I loved this picture because I was whining to Victoria that there seemed to be no end to this trail.  I was tired and my asthma was attacking me.  When I turned the corner and saw how it looked like the path just dropped off I had to laugh.  How many times do we think in our Christian walk that there is no end to certain situations only to discover there is a drop off into the unknown?  How often do we feel our searching for an end have just brought us nowhere?

If you look at this photo as I saw it, I was trying to take a picture of the sun shining through and how the path just seemed to drop off into the unknown.  When I posted the picture I saw instead the Son shining through the trees, the narrow path we are to walk and the this tiny light up ahead which seemed to reassure me that even if I did not see the end of the path, the Holy Spirit was guiding me.  While my eyes were upon Jesus (the sun in the sky), my feet were securely on the path as I walked in faith and even though I could not see it when I took the journey, the Holy Spirit was just up ahead in the darkness, leading me.

What a wonderful portrait of God’s love for us.  If we just walk by faith and keep our eyes on Jesus we will never walk into darkness for the Holy Spirit is our guide.  Can you see how the Trinity truly works?  I was filled with such joy upon seeing this right before my eyes and it stills fills me with an uncontainable joy as I write out his marvelous vision.  God loves us all and even when you feel alone in the forest, God sees you there and is reaching down to meet your needs.  Walk in Faith.  Stay on the path God has destined for you.  Keep your eyes on Jesus!  And surely trust in the Holy Spirit for He is our guide and present help in time of need.  Never stop searching for God.  We all desire to be filled and not hallow, strong in our faith and not dead wood.  God longs for us to reach for Him and seek His face, like the branches of the trees.  Never think that you are the only tree in the forest, you are never alone, God fills the space all around you!