“That was the best mammogram!,” says no one ever. Those things are painful and uncomfortable. Having to be half naked in front of a stranger and all of the weird noises and pinching. I was dreading my appointment this morning when my husband called to tell me to cancel all of my appointments today because the roads were icy and he did not want me out in this 20 degree Michigan weather. I asked if he was sure because I had a 9 am mammogram appointment that I was ready to cancel and to my dismay he said I should go but to be very careful driving. And so I went.
How many times have we “ignored”, “set aside”, “put on a back burner” or “rescheduled” what we are suppose to be doing for God? For me…too many to count. I am a writer. I see things which need to be written and I write my heart. My goal? To touch one heart for Jesus. To make plain that which this fallen world has made complicated. I have been in this boat before where I know I need to write but I will find every excuse in the world not to accomplish the task before me. Today I received a push from a total stranger in an uncomfortable situation.
I could have 1,500 people come up to me and be like, “So when is the next book coming out? What’s it about?” and I would have some sappy reply to cover up the fact that I had not even started it. I can tell them the title and what it’s about but I have no words on paper to prove it. Recently I have been off work…10 weeks to be exact with the means of resting and writing. Have I written any words towards a book? Nope. Blogging is at a minimum. I just seem to have no motivation. I can’t even use the excuse anymore that I don’t have the means to create said book because I now have this beautiful new laptop with the right program to use to write with.
But! Because God loves me, He doesn’t give up. He keeps pursuing me. He is my creator and He knows the plans and purposes He has for me and that is to write. Today the technician who took my “pictures” was Christian and the encouragement from her meant so much to me. God used a complete stranger to give me ideas and venues for my writing. He chose to use something I was dreading and rewarded me with His grace. I left that appointment walking on cloud 9! Why? Because as I was leaving I told her thanks for the encouragement and her response was, “Thank You! You were also an encouragement to me today!”
So now I am back on my mission. If I can touch one person with the words I scribe it is all worth it. Enough running away from my gifting. Finished with the lies from the enemy that I am not making a difference. I am done with trying to be a writer and am accepting the words: I am a writer.
Dear God, It’s me Brenda. I know that you have instilled in me a purpose. An avenue of scribing words so that Your people will be able to hear Your heart. I thank You today for this precious gift You have given to me. Thank You for pursing me. Thank You for pushing. I pray now for those who are struggling with their gifting that You would begin to pursue them and show them the same grace You have given to me. I pray that You would use all of us in some way for Your purposes. Lord I surrender my gift to You. Use me. In Jesus Name, AMEN