It’s All About Me

Psalm 18:16-19

But me he caught—reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but Godstuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!
garden
I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try to think I have it all together, God still searches for me.  Once I thought I had marriage figured out and took a turn on the wrong path, figuring God was unhappy I just continued.  Once I thought I had friends figured out, then I lost most of them, figuring God was still unhappy I just went along friendless.  Once I thought I had my job figured out, still confused at times on this one but now I know God has my back.
What changed?  Easy, I simply surrendered.  I gave it all to God.  He gave this life to me and once I accepted Jesus in to my life I was suppose to hand over my life to Him.  How did I miss such an important step along the way?  Maybe it’s because I was 6 when it happened.  Perhaps it was because I did not learn from the right church.  Or maybe, just maybe I had to go through some things in my life so that I would appreciate what I have now.
I won’t get into the death of flesh because to some it might not make sense, but we as Christians need to come to a place where we just surrender it all, trusting fully in God to take care of EVERYTHING.  Let’s take for instance when I told God after my divorce that I did not need a man in my life anymore.  I wanted to simply publish my books and travel the world speaking to churches.  Didn’t take long for God to step in and give my a second chance at marriage with a man who loved me as much as he loved Jesus.  God once again had a better plan for my life than I could have ever come up with.
So why am I still trying to pretend that I have everything under control?  I don’t know. Guess it’s just human nature.  Just recently I have been frustrated with my books not being published yet and have been pouting a bit.  I began to try to figure out and plan how it’s suppose to happen only to receive a word from God that I am to be thanking Him for publishing my books.  Sigh! Why is it always so easy?  Our minds want to figure it all out when if we would just speak things as though they ought to be instead of what we see right in front of us, perhaps God could move quicker on our behalf….
Whatever it might be in your life, began to let it go.  Start to thank God for you family being saved.  Start thanking God for finances.  Begin to believe that God is for you and not against you.  All He requires is obedience.  When in the same night I was instructed to thank God,  I was also instructed to just rest in Him I started to say all the things I needed to do and there was no time for rest, I began to let it go.  If God wants me to rest in Him then rest in Him I shall do.  I will up my worship and just rest in His lap, watching as He unfolds His plan for my life right before my eyes.
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