The reality of life can hit us really hard sometimes. A loved one passes away. We lose our job. We lose our vision for life. We get lost in sin. We wander into a situation that is dangerous to us. People hurt us with words. We have so many negatives in life we often forget to see the positives. When we start walking with Jesus we begin to see the whole picture. We have gone through some terrible things in life, yet God promises to turn that which was bad into good. How does this make any sense?
God can take something in your life and turn it to good just because He loves you. When you begin to walk step by step with His purpose for your life, He can begin to show you what love really is. He can teach you how to have peace. He can give you the hope you need to reach the next level. Why does He do this? Simple. Because He loves.
Each step we take towards healing begins with us surrendering to move. Some of us have been deeply wounded physically or emotionally. Sometimes we hold on to these things for a long time, never realizing that it is making an imprint on our lives. Sometimes we are operating out of brokenness and don’t even know it. We often react to things differently than normal only because we are broken in that area. Because we offer healing to others through our testimony I am going to share a deep wounding in my life, knowing God has healing for me in it.
When I was five years old I was molested by a family friend. I was placed in a shed, locked in while he did his dirty deed. I was forced to be quiet as he kissed me and fondled me. I did not know this was wrong but I remember feeling very closed in and like I had no choice but to just obey. He was not mean to me but I knew it was still wrong. I had suppressed this situation deep within until I was 18. I don’t really know how this all surfaced but I think it was related to a date rape which occurred and God was allowing me to deal with it. I went to counsel and learned how to forgive these men in my life and I thought it was all done. I did my part to forgive, however what I did not realize is that there were emotions tied to these situations.
Recently in our marriage we have faced some issues that just did not make sense. As we sought God for answers it became evidently clear. My feelings of being claustrophobic sometimes consumed me. I would shy away from my husband hugging me or sometimes I would push him away if he held me for too long. Sometimes I would not want to kiss. I never knew I was still emotionally tied to these events in my life. I long to have a completely open and loving relationship with my husband, free from barriers. I do not have a desire to rob him of the privileges of being married. I do not want to cause division where there should be love.
When we are wounded deeply; it can only be healed by Jesus. We need to allow Him to come in and severe those emotional ties. Not an easy process. Sometimes a quick healing takes place while in some circumstances; God wants us to walk slowly through the process because He has other areas of our lives He wants to heal. Be open to healing. Be willing to allow Jesus to do a marvelous work in your heart. Be ready to be set free.