I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.
To continue on with my theme for the week, I want to continue thankfulness even when we think things are not as they should be. Take for instance getting a new home and you were hoping for 3 bedrooms and God provides a more than sufficient home according to His promise of provision but the home only has 2 bedrooms and you really wanted the third one for a new office. Did you really need a new office? Is there somewhere else in this home where you could fit an office? Often times we are just not happy with what God gives us and we complain and are ungrateful because it does not have all the bells and whistles we wanted. We should be thankful in the end for the roof over our heads. God knows what we need and He will not give us more than we can handle. And I know for sure He provides for our needs at just the right timing.
Let’s take a closer look at misunderstood provision as it played a huge role in my life. Here I was in the middle of relationship with my husband that was growing darker and darker every day. My typical day towards the end of my disaster consisted of: getting the kids ready, going to work for 9 hours, finding money for dinner and kerosene, finding my husbands next fix, endless trips to the emergency room and so much more. This happened over and over again and as I cried myself to sleep each night, I laid there wondering when the end would come.
Then, in the scheme of things and my bewilderment God stepped in and took my husband from the scenario. He freed me from the hell I was operating out of on a daily basis and do you know as I sat in that hospital room I still did not want to let anyone know about what was happening everyday in my life? I was literally afraid of how I was going to make it if my husband was not in the picture any more? Now I look back and just shake my head and giggle to myself , “oh ye of little faith.”
God had given me an out and I still was not happy it seemed. Now I would have to raise two teenagers alone on the salary of just me. Here I was with no gas on at the trailer, no working appliances and a van that just did not run right and my husband was the one who did most of the cooking and the fixing of anything broken. I was in a panic because I did not know how to cook on a an outside grill. I just could not see it at the time the wonderful provision God had already in motion because I just wanted Him to fix my husband. Now I look back and as I can see more of the bigger picture, I see what God had in mind all along and in order for these things to happen, there had to be a separation.
Next Blog: more on the separation and how it has drawn me ever so close to God