I Don’t Want Someone Else’s Trash

Matthew 18:15

New Living Translation (NLT)

Correcting Another Believer

15 “If another believer sins against you,  go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.

Resentment. Anger.  Attitudes.  Offences.  Misinterpretations.  Grudges.  Dishonesty.  Hard Feelings.  Hurtfulness. Trash is ugly in its’ self, however it gets uglier when it belongs to someone else.  Where I am going with this is simple, if you have a problem with someone, instead of taking it out on another unsuspecting person, go to the person who offended you in the first place and take care of business.  There is no excuse for pushing your anger towards one person onto someone else who has no idea what is going on.  Others hurt and offend us on a daily basis.  Sometimes we allow this to build up over time and it consumes us internally until one wrong word from someone else and we lose it.  We begin to throw daggers and harsh words at this person and they find themselves getting defensive and then it’s just full blown warfare.  And why?  All because we begin to operate out of woundedness.

How many times do we do this?  We are fearful of going to the person who hurt us in the first place and we begin to start wars everywhere we go, even at the bank teller or the cashier at the grocery store.  Perhaps we get angry at the drivers around us when really they did nothing wrong.  Whatever the situation may be, we direct our anger often times at the wrong people.  How can we stop this insane cycle of undeserved blaming and lashing out?  Simple.  Go to the person who offended you, hash it out, ask for forgiveness, make amends, do what ever it takes to make it right so you may begin to heal the wound that was inflicted upon you.

Let’s compare this to a leaky faucet: until you fix the leak, it is going to continue to drip causing you frustration and aggravation.  Until you actually go to the faucet and fix it physically, you are going to have to deal with the constant irritating drip.  It will drip until it drives you crazy and you just explode on the next thing that comes you way, like the dog or your husband or your unsuspecting six year old.  We often lash out all of a sudden like a volcano that has been brewing and bubbling for awhile and the victims are usually ones who have no idea that we are harboring some wound.  How unfair to them that we explode from some simple thing which sets us off.

This is where respect comes in.  You have to have enough respect for your fellow humans to correct wrong behaviors or straighten out wrong perceptions.  Who are you angry with?  Has someone wounded you and you have yet to deal with it?  Do you see this person everyday and pretend things are okay when underneath you have this bubbling molten ready to erupt?  I challenge you today to search your heart and ask God to show you how to handle the situation and then pray He gives you the right opportunity to approach this person or persons.  God will give you the grace if you are willing to be face to face.

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8 thoughts on “I Don’t Want Someone Else’s Trash”

  1. Last Sunday, my pastor reminded us that this Sunday will be communion Sunday. He also reminded us that to take communion we are to make peace with those we are in conflict with and extend forgiveness/seek forgiveness before taking communion. There must be someone I need to do some business with, because this topic has come across my path again. I pray He reveals to me who I need to approach, speak with, and either forgive or seek forgiveness!

  2. I know it may seem like I post difficult stories of my life, but I try to give a testimony for each blog to prove what you believe.

    I seem to be a victim of this rather than the other way around. I’m not usually a person of many words anyway. So, it’s hard for me to get into fights with people unless they purposely want one. There were a few moments were customers would make me feel bad, I mean who hasn’t experienced that? But there was one customer who really stuck a personal nail in my heart one day.

    I was a receptionist at this Hospital. Many workers knew me becuase my mom works with the same hospital at another branch. But Brenda, I had never been surrounded by such Godly and awesome people who really cared for me. The only person I had a problem with was a cranky lunch lady there.

    Anyway, about three months into my job, this middle age man in what seem like in church clothes came in and asked me for a patient that he didn’t even know the full name to. And I can’t remember if this patient was listed under not wanting any visitors, or if the patient never existed or that it was under policy that if someone does not know the full name of the patient, I am not supposed to give any whereabouts about that patient, even if they only know the first or last name. He then asked me if there was an intensive care unit and I didn’t really know much about the hospital becuase our orientation day did not give us a tour. Plus I was told that if someone was fatally hurt, call 911 becuase at the hospital I worked, it was not made for emergencies. It was just a place to rest and get better. So, I told him I did not know and he just stared at me viciously and I waited for him to say or do anything. I was so uncomfortable to have to grown man stare down at me like that. So, I couldn’t help him with this patient and then he was told that an intensive care is probably non-existent. And I guess that has to be very frustrating when you have taken the time to drive down here to get some service but you can’t. He began to insult me one after the other, saying that I needed a new a job, I didn’t know how to do my job and that he was going to report me the following Monday because it was a Sunday that day and my supervisor was not there. I asked him how could say such a thing to me. And he mumbled something and just continued down the hall to get service somewhere else. Thank God I had a wonderful boss who did not take into account ANYTHING that man said to me. She was the best boss I had ever had in my entire life. She was so laid back and down to Earth. She didn’t even do background check on me. She just assumed that she could trust me to get the job done.

    I sat there with my heart beating so fast and my eyes were watery. If you remember, I told you I always had good people in my life and when I encounter someone like that who does not take my feelings into consideration, it’s like a brick wall hits you in the face. You’re not used to such harshness. How could a human being be so cold? This was a grown man who was possibly a pastor or a member of a church and he fed me such hatred. I could not concentrate for the rest of that shift. I quickly got on the phone and told the nurses station that there was a man coming back there to look for a patient that he didn’t even know the full name to and I suspected that he probably was a pastor becuase pastors do make visits to hospitals upon requests. I don’t know, it could just be that he was dressed for something else, but it was SUNDAY. I’m not sure if they let him see the patient or if he even found who he was looking for. But all I knew at that time was that I wanted him to know how much he hurt me. I wanted God to somehow correct him and make her AWARE of what he really did to me! I watched him from the monitor on my desk come back and he did not say a word to me or even look at me. He just left the building.

    He did come back like a week later or so and he was much cheerful to me than before. I don’t know if he recognized me but i fell into this survival mode to defend myself when I recognized him. I was so relieved that it was quick.

    I don’t know what his problem was that day, but Brenda, words are VERY powerful. They are so powerful that they kill people, even teenagers in school who have a tough time with bullying. I just really wish people would learn to have respect for other fellow human beings becuase we’re in this world together. We’re not really that different from one another.

  3. Yes, we speak life or death with our tongue, much like our Creator did when He created this world we live in. We are human but sometimes there is not excuse for the way others behave. The trick is letting it all out and if it is not in your possibility of making amends, then surrender it to God.

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