Painting a Frog

Colossians 3:10
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him.

How many times do we change our appearance throughout our vapor of time here on earth?  We change our hair color.  We choose to wear different wardrobes.  We cut our hair in a multitude of ranges.  We change the way we wear our makeup. We gain weight, we lose it.  The funny thing, it is so easy to change our outward look, yet we struggle with changing our insides.  If I was to paint a frog hot pink for instance, it would change his appearance, but underneath the new color there would still be a frog.  We often use changing our hair color, getting tattoos and piercings and dressing differently to fit who we think we are when in reality, we need to change on the inside.

I am a product of change.  Changing my appearance made me feel better.  I would cut my hair short and be miserable for weeks until it grew back out.  I would try a mirage of makeup combinations, never really finding the right look.  Finally a close friend of mine shared with me how we try to look better on the outside just to make it feel better on the inside. Hmmm…took some time to think this over and it was very true in my life.  Every time things were going wrong, I had this sudden urge to change my hair color.  Each time depression set in, black was my new favorite color to wear.  When things were really bad, I wore more makeup to hide the inside me from the outside world.  How ugly things were on the inside was never to be seen by family and friends.  I kept the struggling me deep down inside, away from the reality of my life.  Too bad I could not hid the feelings too.

This goes along with the theory I had that if everything looked good on the outside, no one would know how much I was really struggling.  I had two kids, worked full time and a husband who was addicted to drugs.  We did all the things other families did and so many were shocked when my husband and I separated.  I assure you some saw it coming, but most just could not fathom why we were not together any more.  I just knew that at some point the real me had to stand up and be accounted for.  The real me was yearning to be the Jesus Freak I was longing to become.  My broken heart needed mending and breaking out of the shell I had created was the first step in finding me.

Now that I have found me, I change my color less often.  I chose to trim and not cut it off.  My makeup has a pattern and my dress code reflects the me I really am.  Yes I have those moments when I stand in the aisle at the store with my hand on the box of red hair dye and the bright florescent eye shadow, but a peace falls over me and moves me into the place where I am accepted and free and I choose the appropriate color for a girl my age.  Funny how we work things out once we are committed to God in our life.  I am no longer trying to hide from the world and pretending to be someone I am not.  I like to fit it, but I do it with my own flare and stop myself from bending into the unreality which sometimes surrounds me.  Maybe this is the moment in time for you to find the real you.  Perhaps it’s time to uncover the beauty underneath it all and step into a whole new realm of being who you are designed to be.

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5 thoughts on “Painting a Frog”

  1. Another excellent story, Brenda! I hope that women read this and catch a glimpse of themselves as I did, gaining some insight into where and who they really are today. Also, praying for your readers that their insights push them toward a desire for transparency and self-acceptance, as they learn from you, God’s acceptance and love for them, is greater than that of the world. It’s ok to change, so long as that change is bringing “the real you” to the surface and allowing you to interact with the world from a perspective of “who you really want to be….or become” (as in the case of allowing Christ to transform us into more than what we expected of ourselves.) There’s nothing wrong with hairstyles, clothing, and makeup (as girly girls, we can all love and appreciate that, even with our varying roles and moods…) but I agree these changes shouldn’t be to cover up, or pretend that something is “happy” inside when we are really feeling dead in the water and sinking fast. To reach out instead, to a friend, to a counselor, mentor, and above all, to cry out to the Lord to change us from the inside out! To remember that “He is able to do above and beyond all we can ask or think, for those who love Him.” Thanks again, girlfriend, for such a good read.

  2. You hit the nail right on the head! I am actually working The 5 System (will reveal in a soon to be posted blog) which deals with being loved and accepted. God gave me this revelation right before I was going to speak to the teens Friday. Thanks for all the love and support!! muwhaaaaa!

  3. Good job! I really liked the way you displayed various looks. But I also liked the “final” you. Of course, this won’t be the last change in your life; you will go on, and grow some more finally finding who He designed you to be!!!

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