1 Chronicles 16:11
Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face continually.
How often do we truly seek God? Do we only come to Him when we are in need or do we search for Him in our daily walk? Have you ever received what you needed and then went along your merry way doing things your own way until the next BIG thing happened in your life and you needed God again? We have all been there. In the days before when I was not seeking God like I am now, this was a routine of mine. I would think I had things under control and doing fine on my own when in retrospect, I did not have a clue what I was doing. Then I find myself screaming about how in the world I was in such a mess, not realizing I was the one who myself there in the first place because I did not seek God first.
I was saved at six. I did all I could at this tiny of an age to seek God even though my parents were not believers. I attended vacation Bible schools. I went to the Baptist church and faithfully attended the Awana classes. Every Wednesday I would ride the Joy Bus with the Church of Jesus Christ. Yet I never went anywhere on Sunday because no one was there to take me. I learned to experience God in my own way and let Him lead me where He wanted to take me, wish I had done that all along in my life. I soon discovered the Methodist church down the street at age twelve and begged my mom to join me so I could see what a Sunday service was like. Mom came and soon we joined the church.
I became a member, attended youth group, joined the choir and was very active, yet I was not sure what it was all about. I knew there was a God. I knew He created everything. I understood we sang in church, but not really why. I did not know at that point, I had a purpose. God was growing me up in the way He desired me to go and I thought I had it figured out at one point, then came peer pressure and junior high school. Somehow I got caught up in the world. How does this happen? God captured my heart at age six, should I not have been in a secure relationship with Him by my teenage years? No matter how hard I tried to be good, I just told God I had it under control as He watched His daughter party, drinking and smoking, destroying the work He has started.
I can imagine how He must have felt when I stopped seeking Him in my life. Oh I knew He was there, yet I just kept getting farther and farther away, almost like a child waving goodbye to their parents as they go off to school. And just like the parent, God is trying to hold unto to us for just a little but longer to protect us. As I walked into the world on my own, my thoughts were no longer His. My actions no longer reflected that I was a Christian girl. What had happened? I got interested in the world and stopped seeking God. The more I was away, the more “freedom” I thought I had when in reality I was just putting on chains. Chains of immorality. Chains of improper behavior. Chains of guilt. Chains of self-doubt. Chains of fear. I could go on. I had none of those issues while I was seeking God.
I felt like I was trying to show everyone I could handle this world all on my own without God. Boy was I wrong. I ended up searching for love in all the wrong places and nothing seemed to fill the void I had created when I stopped seeking the face of God. I married a man I thought was perfect for me, but I did not use Godly wisdom before I entered into the marriage. Biblically speaking we are to marry someone who is equally yoked to our faith so we the two can become one, seeking God first in our lives. If I had not strayed for awhile, I may have learned this principle, saving me from what I endured for 18 years. On the flip side of all of this, yes I choose incorrectly but God is a God of forgiveness and He turned my bad choices into lessons I can teach others. I have two wonderful children and a life worthy now of being called a child of God. I walk in greater peace and when things come, I can still cry out to God but He isn’t so far away anymore.
What have I learned? Even when things are going good, still seek the Lord. We are to rest in His goodness which is exactly what I am doing now, however I do not want to go back unto the path from whence I came and become like the lost sheep. I want to continually receive from God and this can only happen if I am continually seeking Him. This means, before I buy a new car, seek the Lord. Before I decide I want to move, seek the Lord. While helping my kid find a college, seek the Lord. Before I do anything major in my life I need to seek the face of God for direction so as to stay on the path I was destined to be on. I never want to lose sight of my destiny again. I have lost the desire to be a part of this world. I only want God and I want others to experience His great love.